Nobody asked me but.. Cancer

Surgical Daycare

As we sit here waiting for Bean's turn to be called, there is chatter in every direction. This well lit room with chairs galore filled with the room, with people fully loaded in them. We sot with a pager waiting to be called and brochure with my child's identification number. This will allow me to know when my child's surgery is complete. This room is filled with people awaiting surgery. Those humans that are not allowed to eat or drink after midnight last night. It's almost one pm so you know they are all starving. When my kiddo goes back, it's all tears and fear. I hate that so much. Cancer gives you moments you cannot control. You have to do this, you have to have these meds and need this i.v. etc. Some parts of treatment, you don't get a choice or an option. For Bean; getting a port isn't an option after a dysfunctional picc line. She sent me on a mission, it didn't distract me whatsoever. I had to take a drive 2 exits north to get my Bean a Quarter pounder from you know where. When I got back, I had to get organized, then venture downstairs to the other end of the hospital for some green apple lemonade. I know she will be sad they did not have the flavoring so I substituted blue raspberry in the lemonade. That's her second best flavor, so I'm feeling like a second place mom right now. Well I just checked the monitor. It has been five minutes past the expected hour anticipated for surgery. I would be lying if I said I wasn't terrified. I am waiting for this pager I am holding to scream off the roof tops that my baby is out of surgery. I feel like I am the neurotic mom who keeps getting up and checking the monitor every two seconds. I need to know she is ok. Phew, the surgeon came out and talked to me. Good news, all is well and I'm waiting for my baby to wake up.  I just want to go hug my baby, and I have to wait. Did I say how much I hate stuff right now? Ugh. Hurry up and wait. You would think being in my forties, I would be used to all of this adulting.