Nobody asked me but.. Cancer

6 cycles; 2 rounds

180 miles driven each way, every time. Knowing that once we get their; chemotherapy will have the boxing gloves on in the ring to kill cancer. I just have to hope and pray and understand science will win, it just has to! The side effects are brutal. The bone pain from the white blood cell count boosting injection is terrifying. My Bean had excruciating bone pain. We had some relief when we skipped it once. Then surprise; white blood cell count fell into the toilet. As treatments went on; her body adjusted to what was happening. I always questioned the doctors and nurses to make sure I was on top of everything. My girl would be so tired after chemotherapy every time.  There were so many times I was terrified of dehydration. Bean was so nauseous, that even drinking water was a struggle a few times. All of this was a battle. Us against cancer, and damn it we were going to win! We just had to! Every treatment, I was thinking and praying to God asking him to save my child and to keep her safe. I also said I would never ask for anything else ever again. Let my child be that one thing I want and need. I feared that if the cancer didn't kill her, the drugs to kill the cancer might. Words cannot express as a mother what this feels like. This 6 month battle was one of the hardest things I have ever experienced in life. I say this after ten years of me being in foster care with abuse and whatnot. This... cancer was rough. There were so many times my Bean was in pain and I couldn't help her. Her spleen and bone marrow were reacting intensely to kill this cancer. Bean and I both believe that those most painful times were when the cancer was actually bring killed. Yes we said it, my Bean murdered cancer!!