Nobody asked me but.. Cancer

The days go on

The days go by so slow. Each day starting the same. Picc line love. Yes, you guessed it. Morning flush and Heparin lock 2 lines. Then to contemplate what the day will hold. My Bean sleeps away almost all of the day like sleeping beauty. I remember the Oncologist saying she will have some days where she feels better even though she is tired. We are now day 8 post treatment and I have yet to see any glimpse of my baby back to herself. She hardly has the stamina to stand and take a shower. She definitely cannot stand long in a store or browse. Sometimes her and I get laughing about the silliest things. It does help pass the time for sure. Yesterday, I was reviving some of her cosplay wigs. We have those on standby while the nice Amazon ordered wig is on it's way. We have to be prepared for the "hair on the pillow." I never thought I would use my hair wig skills I learned after graduating hair school. I had worked at a strange place upon graduation. The business was a tanning and wig salon. I studied under this older french lady, I cannot remember her name for the life of me. I watched her customize wigs with wefts of hair and make custom made hair pieces by hand. This is knowledge I was unaware that I would need or use in the future. So as my Bean showered, I detangled 2 wigs sitting on the floor with a comb in hand and my quiet thoughts. My Bean showers, gets comfortable in bed next. Our evening routine then turns into medication and teeth brushing bedside, followed by one more get comfortable check. Bean has to sleep a certain way to avoid shallow breathing during sleep. Sometimes it takes so long for her to get comfortable. Day by day Bean seems to improve. Today she had a little more stamina to stand and shower. Any victory with her is a victory for me. Man oh man, the side effects for the immune booster are awful. Bone pain is not Bean's friend. Neither is waking up at one am in excruciating pain. It was a rough night for the both of us. Nobody talks about the long, strenuous hours as parents we put in during chemo to make our kids as comfortable and happy as possible. At times it can be draining but I would rather look burnt out with a happy kid then look good and have my kid feel like shit. Don't get it twisted though. Just like in the days of having an infant, when she naps I try to nap. Of course only after household duties and patient care is complete. Looking forward, we still have miles to drive in the wee morning hours tomorrow. We have to hit the road before sunup, of course stopping for coffee first. That has to happen so ai can be a functional adult.