Nobody asked me but.. Cancer

Not all bad

As grueling as our first clinic day was, we did walk away with some very strong hope. We had hope that my Bean's health was slowly improving. After having an uncooperative Picc line, the Dr. decided to do an xray to check the placement. It was noted by the radiologist reviewing the xray, Bean's tumor on her heart has shrunk! I almost cried! After one dose of chemo it went down noticeably so. The Dr. said this is not typical. I know what this is, this is our Viking blood. All in my younger, precovid days healing has been my super power for years. I believed through genetics I passed on this miracle to my Bean. Even delivering my Bean vis c-section; the nurses could not believe my rate of my incision healing upon discharge at day 3. This has been a continuous trend for me. I am learning more and more my Bean is just like her Mom. All of my mind was racing wondering home many more chemo treatments it would take to eradicate this beast. Bean has not named the tumor but I have. He is the bastard. I talk to him every night as I tuck in my Bean for bed. I tell him he doesn't get to win and you're not staying here. I speak as though he is an evil troll. My behavior makes my Bean laugh, but I am serious as a heart attack when speaking to him. I can't help but winder if next school year will be normal for her. My Bean had amazing grades before cancer. Now it is all just on pause. You see, I myself noticed Bean responding to the chemo. I saw her eczema patches appear to look differently. The pink raised patched were now flat, whitish and resembled snake skin. Very dry and scaly. That was my first clue that this is working, something is happening. I knew some way, some how Bean's body was responding. We now have actual hope based on physical and scientific information. Proof if you will. My heart now realizes we aren't doing this for nothing. Our tireless efforts are not being wasted.