The patronizing words you speak under your breath
I hide my gaze under my brow and bowed head
Time warps as my vision blurs for what feels like a moment
But before long my name is asked like a question
I'm spacing out, not entirely present
"Stay with me, yeah?"
"I'll try."
It's easier said than done
A toxic train of thoughts triggered by something
Some unknown phrase or implied feeling
My fault
It's all my fault
I should've been better
Should've been quicker
Should've been smarter
I know it's not true, just my trauma response
But it feels all too imposing to be false
Wondering if I'll ever not feel like this when someone's ticked
If I'll ever believe it's not my fault
Why should I even bother
It's probably always going to be my fault
