Late Night Thoughts

Anything Anything

When the sun sets on a distant day
And I kiss the sleepy young ones on the nose
Will I look up in praise?
Smiling through the hustled daze?
Or will I look at strangers
And silently gloat?
What a life I have!
I'll say to myself
How could anyone not turn green?
I hope this isn't true
The mighty always fall
We've seen it over and over through a screen
Instead I hope I'll stay this level of stressed
But the rewards will be so much sweeter
I'll be thankful for every yawn in the morning
Every winter snuggle next to the heater
I might collect the baby teeth
After playing the fairy
And count each new addition
Every one counted is another moment lost
Every dash on the wall is another moment nearer
They'll cry after a dance when they saw their crush holding hands
With someone who's not them
But they'll move on to another
And roll their eyes at their mother
Who squeals each time they find someone who likes them too
I think I was born to be an embarrassing mom
I won't be cool like their friends
But they'll be happy enough
To know their mom always shows up
Whether it's a game or show and dance
Maybe they'll be artists and create new beauty with each breath
Maybe they'll debate politics of a world they hardly know
They could find themselves being drawn to black clothing and death
But as long as I'm living they won't do any of it alone
I'll make rules, and I know they'll break a few
But when pieces get broken I'll show them what to do
And when they finally walk across their stage
Shaking hands with people they may love or hate
They'll hold a diploma in their hands and look at me and wave
And then I'll know they'll be okay
I hope I'll be smiling and thankful on that day
They'll move out with friends or find a new roommate
And after a while
They might actually miss me
I'm already excited at seeing their name pop up
After feeling their absence
In a house now almost empty
And hearing their sweet voice say "what's up"
When they need, I'll apologize for all my mistakes
When they need, I'll be forgiving then make sure they clean their plates
And I'll cook everything in the house when they come home at Christmas or Thanksgiving
We'll lounge and laugh as a family, God willing
I'll buy them a car so they can escape me and my emotional needy arms
But every time they come back
I'll hold them and cry
And tell them I'm so happy they're home
I don't care who they are, what they are, or how many
I don't care if they stay close or venture far
They're already in me
They don't even exist yet
But somehow I miss them
And I'll work and create a familiar place they can visit
They'll create their own spaces where they can live their own lives
And while they do that, I'll fully live mine
But I'll drop everything as soon as they call weeping
I'll hold them and wipe their tears
Just like I did when they swore when they saw monsters creeping
And when I first meet their children I'll gladly take out my checkbook and pen
I know as soon as I see them, I'll fall all over again
They'll all know that I live to see them smile
And if they need anything,
Anything at all,
They only need to ask and maybe sit with me a while