Late Night Thoughts

Distress from Ennui

I've come too far to hate you again
I don't have the capacity to feel what I did
I've thanked and forgiven enough
And my apologies have lost their touch
I wrote when I thought you couldn't see
I swore when I thought you didn't listen
I cover my hands in oils and calluses
To find some distraction
Still it is not enough
When will I be free to roam?
Without fear of the hatred in others
Which I've, admittedly, deservedly sewn
I see no future to escape my past
People claim to help but they keep me trapped
There's no life, indeed
In the dry empty pockets of dirt
Where my feet shyly plant
I don't need to hear of greener pastures
I need to hear a key unlocking my iron bars
I promise this to you now
If I stay here much longer, I'll stay for eternity
Be happy, and stay away
Or I'll drag your thoughtless heart down with me