The Love and Horror Here

Crushed

It's been quite awhile, I think--
But my brain feels like it's melting,
Dripping down into my cheeks,
Turning them hot and scarlet,
They must be glowing for all to see,
Like the dying light of the sun, reflected upon my face,
My heart wants to explode out of my chest,
And though my face grows hot,
Cold tendrils work and worm their way up my neck,
Down my arms and shoulders--
And still I think of you.
I wonder if
Your touch would make it better or worse,
Is this sensation meant to last,
Or will it soon pass,
Your voice could be but a whisper of a word,
Yet it would echo in my head like thunder,
I play our conversation back,
And wonder- if this is just banter between friends
Or something more,
In the foggy static of my brain,
I try to unravel the answer, hidden in the mist.
I will do my best to make you laugh and smile
Because when I think of losing you, it's
As though my ribs are crushed and fragmented,
Stabbing, stabbing into my lungs; I cannot breathe
and my eyes throb and sting as though wasps have made their home in them,
I listen to your words across the table and I listen well,
For any day could be the one we say farewell,
I drink it all in with a smile,
Even if this won't be a story our families will tell one day.