I hadn't seen Derek really at all since we had slept together. He avoided me in class and would always seem to get out before I could find him. I texted him, but never got a response, I couldn't really figure it out. Did he feel as bad as me? Did he just get me tipsy so I would cave in and sleep with him? Derek could be a totally ass hole at times and he choices were questionable, but I knew deep down Derek wasn't that much of an dick to get me drunk, sleep with me then never talk to me again. So I just stopped trying and let him be, I figured things would work out.
The weekend rolled around again and I found myself in Beccas dorm having some much needed girl time. For only knowing Becca a few weeks I felt like she was a sister I never had. I decided to talk to her about Bryan, still feeling bad about the Derek situation I didn't bring it up.
"He is going to Texas Christian Becca, that is like a million miles away" I explained
"Yeah, but isn't it his dream and all?" She said
"Well yeah... But I want him to have dreams with me." I protested
"Maybe you two can make a long distance relationship work" she suggested
"hmm.. Maybe I guess" I said with a sad tone
"Is something wrong girly?" She asked, concerned
I took a deep breath and could feel the guilt building up as tears started to swell in my eyes. Then all of a sudden I let it out and told Becca.
"Becca... I did something really bad, I... I slept with Derek last weekend and I haven't told anyone but you, not even Bryan." I said tears rolling down my face.
Becca got up from her chair and sat next to me and gave me a hug and let me get it all out.
"It's okay sweetheart, we all make mistakes" she said
"I don't know what to do though, I feel so bad for doing it and it is going to break Bryan's heart if I tell him." I said
"You need to tell him though or it is just going to get worse" She said
"Yeah, you're right I need to" I said in agreement
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The next day I drove to Bryan's apartment, the whole way there feeling more guilt in me than I had a few miles back. I thought to myself how I was supposed to tell Bryan what I had done, I did one of the worst things you could do in a relationship. Cheating just seemed like such a dirty thing to do to someone. I started to grip my steering wheel even more as I got closer, I felt like I was about to break it when I pulled up to his apartment. He was standing outside waiting for me, he had that amazingly cute smile on his face as he walked towards my car. I got out slow with a look on my face that made him start to wonder.
"Hey babe, what's wrong" he said pulling me into a hug.
I stood there silently and finally said something.
"Um, something happened last week that I think you need to know about" I said
I finally got the guts to look into his eyes and I saw a mixed look of confusion and worry, and I finally it came out, like word vomit.
"I slept with Derek..." I said
"What?" Bryan said his voice risen.
Tears came to my eyes and started pouring down my cheek as I stood there hating myself even more for hurting Bryan. I didn't say anything just stood there hoping I wouldn't have to say anything.
"You cheated on me? What the hell? How could you do that to me? I love you" he said, his voice louder.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen, I went to a party and I drank a little and I just woke up next to him." I said choking back my tears.
"I can't believe you, no, you know what, forget you. I thought you were different from every other girl I've dated but you're not." he said and then turned to walk back into his apartment.
"No Bryan please, can't we just talk about this?"I pleaded with him, as I grabbed his arm.
"No, you just fucking cheated on me I don't want to talk to you ever again." he said even louder than before.
"Oh and here take this, clearly means nothing to you, you can keep your half, give it to Derek who you would rather fuck around with." he said as he ripped of his necklace I gave him.
He turned back again and as I stared down at my hand with the necklace in it, I heard his door slam shut and my heart sunk. I had just hurt someone who really loved me, with someone who only hurt me. I go back into my car and drove back to campus, the pain kept growing and even though I had told him, the guilt was still there and kept hurting with the sadness and pain.
I got back to my dorm room, Katie was gone for the weekend for some volleyball thing. I changed into sweats and a t-shirt. I found my favorite jersey of Bryans and put it on, it was his number 15 one he wore for a summer ball team, 15 was my number, our number. I climbed into my bed and drowned myself under a blanket and saw the picture I had of me and Bryan on my wall. Then I started to cry, I couldn't help it I had loved Bryan and had wasted it all on one night I couldn't even remember. I stayed there all weekend and when Monday rolled around I didn't get up to go to class I just laid there feeling like the terrible person I was. I didn't know if I ever wanted to go to class again let alone doing anything again.
YOU ARE READING
Forever and always
Teen Fiction*I've always wanted to read about a girl who was to deal with her boyfriend being a baseball player. It's a totally different world. Have you ever had feelings for two people? What about having them for someone who hurt you and feelings for someone...
