Ephemeral eleutheromania - Lucifer x Reader

7. Resolution

As you finish cooking breakfast for everyone, you can't help but wonder about last night's event.

You had woken up in your own bed this morning, having been accommodated between the covers. Your room had been left with a sweet cold scent, and you perfectly knew who had been the culprit last night, yet you denied it to yourself for your own good and heart's health. It made no sense.

For what you could recollect of the last week you have been in Hell, all you had tried to do was avoid him since your own mention of his now assumed ex-wife. You both were supposed to discuss a lot of things, work-related, yet anytime he tried bringing any kind of topic or his mere presence was in the same room as you, all you could do is run away, avoid interactions or even avoid looking at him at all.

Your heart and mind just screamed run, and not only because of the embarrassing display you had caused upon your own self, but you had talked with his fraternal twin, ironically.

-

As you rushed to your room, you closed the door with a loud bang, leaning against it with a deep defeated sigh. You really could not get anything done well, could you? It was as if fate was laughing upon you and screaming mediocre at your own face. You were blaming it on the fact that Hell has seemed to have a negative effect on you, otherwise, it was only yourself to blame for keeping pulling these embarrassing moments, slip-ups.

First the fact that you had woken up at almost lunch time. To most people it could have looked like something normal to do, an accident of oversleeping was quite common for a lot of people. But not for you. You couldn't afford not being perfect at everything you did, the best one of the grid, the best one of your family. That's what you were meant to represent, excellence , in a sense. You could hear and feel the mocking laughs and insults of your own cherubim siblings inside of your head, roaring with laughter upon another failure of yours in a taunting way, even if it was the slightest mistake.

Then the slip up about Lilith, and the mention of her name just upsetted you even more. You had been dumb enough to talk about her with her own daughter and caused her to cry her eyes out. You were supposed to bring comfort and security to people, but how could you when all you did was talk about topics that you have even forbidden yourself to even think about? You were starting to become unreliable to yourself every time you opened your mouth to speak it seemed, and just caused vulnerability to others with your own words.

And to top it all, the interaction with Lucifer. It had not been fair , at all, at least for you. You weren't supposed to give him the slightest satisfaction of your attention. You were supposed to just communicate in a professional and cold manner, but the moment you made an interaction with him it was like you just couldn't. The facade crumbled instantly the moment you both locked eyes, and it really was unjust to your crumbled heart.

You couldn't keep up repeating this slight but to you, major mistakes, they were ruining you at some point with overthinking and self-degrading thoughts. So you did what you knew best: avoided and distracted yourself. You locked yourself up, avoided any interaction with anyone that you knew you could not handle. So really, you had only been interacting with Adam, and they were slight interactions forced by an over-worried Charlie.

-

"I promise you I have slept well today, Mike, don't worry yourself with it" You say as you flip the pancakes on the pan. You had been on a video call with Michael for half an hour now, since you had gotten into the kitchen, really early, to prepare breakfast for everyone.