Fall Girl

Margot

After I chewed and swallowed the pancake, Kev put it in my mouth, "But you can't avoid it forever."

"Mar, can we just drop it for now?" a hint of frustration creeping into his voice.

I kept aside breakfast. "No, Kev, we can't keep avoiding this. I think we should talk about it."

Kev started to get irritated, but he managed to calm himself by taking a few deep breaths. "Mar, I swear I am dying to talk about it but trust me, I am not ready to have this conversation."

I exhaled while looking at him. "How much time do you need to get yourself ready for this conversation?

Kev threw his head back at the headboard. He closed his eyes. "Please, Mar, before I lose my shit can we talk about something else?"

I stood up and started picking up my clothes. "You can't brush things under the carpet and think everything is fine."

Kev also stood up and snarled. "This is the problem: you don't know how to respect someone's decision. If I am telling you I am not ready so you should understand rather than forcing me to do it."

I told him. "First, I do respect your decision but you also need to keep in mind that you can't make excuses forever; one day you have to talk."

Kev was slumping his shoulders. "You think I don't know this?

While I was picking up my belongings. "My opinion is that we should be honest to each other."

Kev reluctantly nodded, but I knew he wouldn't say anything, so I continued. "I want you to understand that without clearing the past, I can't move forward with open arms and a clear heart."

I slipped into my clothes and stormed out of his room. The moment I stepped out of his place, tears started to run down my cheeks.

I found myself lost in my mind regarding an argument with Kev a few hours ago as I walked into the office. I begin to feel remorse for seeking solace in his arms, given that he remains unchanged. I feel like a burden on my shoulders; frustration runs through me. I hate myself for surrendering my emotions to him rather than making him talk.

I needed to distract myself, so the moment I spotted Blaine, I walked up to him. Blaine was brewing coffee. He didn't know I was standing on his back. I cleared my throat to let him know about my presence. "Blaine, how long do I have to wait for the final photos?" my anger, frustration, and regret were visible in my tone.

Blaine looked around and had a sip of his coffee, then he looked at me. "A very good morning, Margot Parker. I will send you the photos as soon as I reach my table."

I understood his sarcastic tone and smile, but I narrowed my eyes because I didn't want to greet anyone.  

"You know, it would be nice if you started your conversations in the morning with greetings like that," he added, lifting his coffee mug.

My jaw clenched in frustration as Blaine's response echoed in my mind. "Who gave you the world's most bizarre advice?" Once again, my tone reflects my anger.

Blaine had another sip of coffee, then kept a finger on his chin. "Let me think who gave me this advice."

I opened my mouth, but he snapped at me. "Yeah, it was you, Mar."

I gave him a stare, but he smirked. I moved forward and grabbed his mug, dismissing his protest. Before turning around, I reminded him that it was "Photos," and then I headed towards my office. I had a few sips before firing up my laptop. I promised myself not to suffocate myself over Kev's behavior.