It was my lucky charm. It was a small thing, but it was radiant. Now, you, members of the court threaten to lock me up, and declare me insane. But I am not insane. I know for a fact that I am not insane. No insane man would have acted as I have acted. I have, in actuality, acted and reacted as I had to, and as anyone else, in my circumstances, would have. The facts are what I present before you.
Before I was here, there was labor. There was always labor. From the seventh hour of the day to the second hour of the night I labored. I never noticed myself. I worked restlessly. I never felt tired. No one around me felt tired. Whenever we had finished our load of work, if we stopped, were whipped. We were whipped, and we would never be tired, because it hurt to be tired.
When the sun rose, it went over our heads and fell down like clockwork. When the sun was high, it was hot, and when our bodies were gasping for moisture we knew it was noon. And when it was noon, because it hurt, we would consume our meals, and dig holes for the crops again. I was a farming laborer. I had worked at a farm all my life and had never known that until three days ago.
We worked hard. We worked all day, and I fell. I fell in front of a drifting gelding, and my leg was crushed. Around me, they continued to work. But I could not work. What was I to do, now that I could not work?
I saw my crushed leg. The bone was bare and broken and it shown itself. That spilt blood flew out my leg. I had to cover it. No one should see it. What would happen, if they did? Some warm feeling rushed to my head, and I wished it were gone! Now they were marching without me! Now they were suffering without me!
My leg was dead, but it felt strange. They were not laboring. They were still. There I was, lying on the dusty earth, and the world spinned around and around and I was the only one resting!
I looked at my chest and stomach. They were a sagging, crippled thing. The ribs were showing and the chest protruded out in bones. The blood made a puddle. I saw a pathetic creature: his cheekbones were outlined and visible, his hair was unwashed and in tufts, and his eyes were broken and blank, as if wishing to be sad but dried out and tired. I wished he were not me, but he stared back at me, and our eyes matched, and I turned away in horror and shame.
Everything around me was strong and working. But I was alone. I was weak, and I saw my ruptured flesh, when no one else did. Had anyone else been knocked down before?
What was around me? I didn't know. I had been here my whole life, and I didn't know. I saw a little stone in the dirt. It was so smooth, and so round! I was nothing to it. It was just a stone in the dirt, but everything seemed grey and pale and that stone shone! I picked it up.
Did I want something to happen? The stone spoke to me. "Shriveling mortal! Listen to me. I am the Magic Charm. It is I who is the judge of all things, who is the speaker of all virtues, and who is the creator of all values. You are nothing in this suffering wasteland, but if you try hard enough, you can live an afterlife of pleasure, ease and numbness. Do you swear to obey me from now on, at all times?"
"Yes!" And eagerly and slavishly, that was my reply, and every other noise out there, was so faint and small and irrelevant to me! It was the only real voice. The humming of the men and the machines around me buzzed around. What were they doing?
What was I doing? I stood up on my one leg, and wobbled, but I stood up straighter than anyone else. They did not have the rock. The rock told me to dance, and I danced. They looked at me. "Over there! You are not with us. There should not be a you, dangling like a little strip away from us. What insanity has broken you? Why do you act so strangely and so unnaturally? You must be insane, and broken like your leg is, and deficient mentally."
I spoke confidently, "Insane? I am not insane. All of you are insane. Look at you! You work and you labor, but do you live? None of you know anything! But I know the rock, and the rock speaks to me. The rock teaches me! Look! I see the demons behind you. They whip you and chain you when you tire. Do you not see them?"
They looked at me bewilderedly, and turned away from me. And there I was, with the rock and without the workers, greater and stronger and alone.
Did not anyone believe in me? The rock ordered me to limp somewhere else. I had to. I shouted over the wind, and yet nothing happened.
Those are the facts that have been presented before you. Do you not see the truth? Do you not see how I am right? Do you? Let me out! Let me out!
