I hate seeing you like this.
I hate the thought of you
beating yourself up over something
you have no control over.
Torn between a past that is over, and a future
that may not take place.
"I don't know how to do it. Help me, please. How do I silence my heart? How do I outsmart my brain?"
My dear, you don't.
You can't.
And even if you can, they will simply return
louder than before.
I hate seeing you
with a fake smile
and pain in your eyes.
I hate hearing you wish for
your heart to dissolve into
nothingness
and your brain to unfurl your thoughts,
to disentangle them,
and throw them into limbo.
Painless.
I just want to hold you.
To tell you that your heart is beautiful,
And your brain is intelligent,
and your presence is a gift to those around you.
It is one that people wish for.
That I wish for.
I want you to have happiness
that you can turn to,
light you can envelope yourself in during those dark moments,
beauty in every little thing.
Bright places.
To remind you of where you've been,
to inspire you to move forward, to protect the light flickering inside you.
And if I'm not one of those places in the way I wish to be,
then so be it.
Because maybe she doesn't have feelings for me,
but that doesn't mean i should abandon her.
You still do everything for the person you love,
right?
I don't want her light to flicker.
I
want
it
to
burn
tall.
