The Torture Of Being In Love [Dohwan/Hwanyoung)

Chapter 8: Is he...?

Junkyu and Doyoung were sitting on the cold floor of the dance hall. Faint music could be heard in the background, but not enough for Junghwan to guess the song's name.

In Junkyu's arms, Doyoung let himself go, his body jerking. He was crying. His head buried in the eldest's neck, he surrendered himself to Junkyu, who gently ran his hand over Doyoung's back.

It was heartbreaking to see; Doyoung looked so small and fragile. Junghwan didn't know what to do. He felt powerless.

Doyoung: "Shit, how am I going to manage without her now? I'm- I'm... I'm not going to be able to make it. I- "

Junkyu: "Shh, it'll be all right, I promise. You have to realise that she's treated you like dirt. Let's face it: You didn't know her that well."

Doyoung: "But... I... I loved her."

Junkyu: "I know, but she was no good to you, Doyoung; please believe me..."

Doyoung: "That's not true, I... she... I enjoyed being with her, I- "

Junkyu: "Yes, but only when things go well between you. Do you remember when you cried at night because of her?"

Doyoung: "Yes... but... it hurts like hell..."

It was difficult for Doyoung to come to terms with the break-up. First girlfriend, first love and first broken heart. Getting over it was going to be difficult. How do you let someone you love go? We remember all the good times we had together and how much we miss that person when we think back. But is it the person we miss, or is it their absence? This space they had occupied is now empty, replaced by dark thoughts.

This gap that has opened up between us and the person in question gives us the impression that we miss the person. We're not used to this gap, this emptiness, which used to be occupied.

Feeling a lack doesn't always mean that we miss the person. That's something Doyoung will have to learn, Junkyu thought.

Junghwan held his breath outside the front door after hearing Doyoung's confession. His hyung was heartbroken, and he didn't know how to react.

Several emotions clashed inside him: sadness, anger, incomprehension—he was a little ashamed to admit it to himself—but hope. Doyoung was single now, and Junghwan could only think about what that meant. The way was clear for someone else.

Junghwan: "fuck, I'm selfish for thinking like this; he's heartbroken; I should be comforting him" ... he thought.

Junghwan snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Doyoung and Junkyu heading for the exit. He quickly moved away from the dance hall's door and returned to his room.

Timelapse: 1 month

It had been just over a month since Doyoung had been left by his girlfriend. His heart was gradually beginning to heal. He was still sad, but he was getting better. The first few days had been tough for him; he could barely get out of bed. It was mainly thanks to Junkyu and Junghwan that he had managed to move on.

After confiding in Junkyu, he also told Junghwan and the other members the story - he owed them that much. Junghwan had reacted surprisingly well, Doyoung had feared that the maknae would have another one of his angry outbursts.