The Torture Of Being In Love [Dohwan/Hwanyoung)

Chapter 16: = JJ

(TW: mentions of depression)

Dance room

The members sat on the dance floor; music played in the background. They had just finished training.

Jihoon was lying on the floor, dripping with sweat. He had given it his all today. He wiped his forehead with a towel. With the towel still in his hand, he turned towards Junkyu and Doyoung, who were chatting amongst themselves.

From Doyoung's perspective, the conversation didn't seem very interesting; he nodded occasionally.

He had that lost look, his eyes lost in a void.

That's when Jihoon decided to talk to Doyoung. The youngest didn't look well, and he needed to be there for him as the group leader and friend.

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Doyoung's room

Doyoung sat in his gaming chair, spinning around as if waiting for something.

*knock knock*

Someone had knocked on his door: "Come in", he shouted.

The door opened, revealing Jihoon: "Sorry to disturb you, but I needed to talk to you", he announced, closing the door behind him.

The younger boy raised his eyebrows in surprise: "Is it serious?" he blurted out, worried. Jihoon replied: "A bit... but don't worry, I'll explain."

Doyoung was now all ears. He looked at Jihoon, his eyebrows furrowed.

The soft light of a lamp dimmed the room where Jihoon and Doyoung were sitting. The walls, painted a deep blue, seemed to absorb the whispers of the outside world, creating a warm, intimate cocoon. The air carried a subtle scent of jasmine, adding a touch of serenity to the atmosphere.

Jihoon, sitting on the edge of the bed, stared out at the open window. The night wind made the curtains dance, creating shadows on the floor.

"Jeongwoo came to see me the other day. He told me about Junkyu... and about you," he said.

Doyoung's breathing stopped short at this.

Jihoon, his hands on his legs and his gaze lost in the infinite, took a deep breath before breaking the silence again. "Doyoung," he began, his voice tinged with bittersweet melancholy, "there's something I need to tell you, something that's been burning inside me for years."

Doyoung looked at him curiously, his eyes shining with kindness and patience. "Yes? Talk to me, I'm listening."

"A long time ago," he said softly, "I loved someone with an intensity I never thought possible. It was a pure, deep, and terribly impossible love. Every day, I lived in the shadow of that love, nurturing the hope that, perhaps, one day, it would become reality."

Doyoung, sensing the gravity of his Hyung, laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "... Why was this love impossible, Hyung?"

Jihoon smiled sadly, his eyes clouded with memories. "Because sometimes, life presents us with impossible choices. Choices where heart and reason clash, where the courage to follow your desires can lead to paths strewn with thorns. I was afraid, Doyoung... Afraid of losing what I had, afraid of the unknown, afraid of judgement..."

He paused, letting the silence envelop the room as if to soothe the pain of his revelations. "I loved him more than anything but never had the courage to tell him. I missed my chance, and now it's too late. That person is gone, and I'm left with my regrets..."