Felipe's
MAYBE the day that I am dreading is finally here. What day is that? The day when finally, Rafaelle will have someone else with her. Seeing her from afar, talking to that stranger – well in my situation, sa akin lang naman stranger ang taong iyon. Clearly, Rafaelle knows him because the way she laughs with him, it's something else. She used to laugh with me like that. Wala naman akong karapatan na maghangad pa ng kahit na ano dahil noong nagdesisyon akong iwanan si Rafaelle noon sa Malta at hindi na bumalik ay nawalan na ako ng karapatan sa kahit na ano sa kanya.
I love her, and even if it hurts, I guess, all I need to do is accept the fact that I will never have her again.
"What the hell are you doing there?" I suddenly heard Andromeda's voice. Hindi ko napansing nakasunod siya sa akin. She told me she's going to look for something she could give my brother later, but now she's here and I know that she saw Rafaelle. I didn't want her to see Rafaelle. Knowing Andy, she will do something that I will be regretting later.
And that's exactly what she did. That's exactly why I am here now, sitting beside her, Oceana on my lap while she eats her bagels, habang si Andy ay walang sawang kinatanong – tanong si Rafaelle at ang kasama nitong lalaki na ang pangalan ay Atlantis. Hindi ko alam kung bakit naiinis ako sa pangalang Atlantis. I am old enough to know my feelings and I am jealous as fuck. Hindi ako dapat nakakaramdam ng ganito, but I couldn't help it. I love her so much and the fact that she is laughing like that, smiling along with whatever he is saying, nodding as she listens to what Atlantis had to say – hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong maalala ang mayroon kami dati. She used to smile at me like that, she used to be that attentive to me. Now I am seeing what I had to let go. I hated it. All I could think about is that it should've been me in his place – making Rafaelle smile. I will do everything just to make her smile again.
"You have your own bakery?" Naulinigan ko si Andy na nagsalita. I had to look at her. Mukhang enjoy na enjoy siya sa pakikipag – usap sa dalawa. I sighed again.
"No. It's not mine. I just help my sister and my mother."
"So, what do you do?" Muling tanong ng hipag ko. What does he do? I am intrigued. Mukhang wala siyang trabaho. How can he support Rafaelle if he doesn't have a stable income? Hindi naman sa pagmamayabang but when Rafaelle and I were together, I spoiled her – a lot. Even if she's not asking for it, I give it all to her. Hindi rin naman kasi mahilig si Rafaelle sa mga material na bagay.
She wanted security and comfort – that is also the reason why our baby – daddy dynamic came to be.
I enjoyed taking care of her, and she loves it when she's being taken cared of. Hindi na rin ako nagulat dahil na rin iyon sa nature ni Rafaelle, she needed to be independent at an early eage because of their family situation. I, on the other hand grew up always taking care of my brothers, making sure that they are all in a good place. Hanggang sa nakilala ko si Rafaelle ay nadala ko ang bagay na iyon.
Oh I love her.
"I'm an athlete."
"You are?" Rafaelle looked so surprised. Tumaas naman ang kilay ko.
"What kind of athlete?" Hindi ko napigilan ang pagtatanong sa kanya. I am intrigued. What kind of athlete is he? Could he provide for her? Rafaelle needs to be taken cared of. If he couldn't do that, I'm not sure if I can just sit and watch. I am very much aware that Rafaelle is someone that can take care of herself, I just want to make sure that whoever she's with can do the same for her.
"Olympian athlete. I play for the country's national Polo Team. Sa last Olympics, last October, we won silver. I know it's not much—"
"Anong not much?" Rafaelle spoke. "You're a national treasure, Atlantis!" She exclaimed. Kasabay noon ay ang paghawak niya sa braso ni Atlantis. Napatiim ang mga bagang ko. I noticed Andy looking at me, her left eyes brow was raised. Oh, she is enjoying every moment of my fucking misery.
