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Felipe's
We've been in front of her residential building for a while now. Hindi pa rin sinasagot ni Rafaelle ang mga sinabi ko kanina. Earlier, after I confessed, Rafaelle was too stunned to speak. Naiintindihan ko naman siya, It was sudden. She must be wrecked. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit nasabi ko ang mga bagay na iyon kay Rafaelle, but I guess I should be glad because the cat is out of the bag and now, I can finally do something with my feelings. Ipaglalaban ko ang nararamdaman ko kahit na anong mangyari. Ayokong mawala si Rafaelle sa akin. I was crazy enough to think that I could live without her, and now, realizing what I am missing, gagawin ko talaga ang lahat para bumalik siya sa akin.
"Felipe..." Finally, Rafaelle spoke. I was still looking at her. She was biting her lip – one indication that she is nervous and she has no idea what to say to me. Maybe she needs time. Nakapaghintay naman ako nang napakatagal na panahon sa kanya, ano pa ba naman iyong kaunting hintay pa?
"I have no idea... I don't know what to say..." She finally looked at my face. I could see that she's in pain. Gusto kong magalit sa sarili ko. If I had known she'll be like this, hindi ko na sana sinabi ang mga bagay na iyon. I wanted her to be happy, but here I am, making her life miserable again. Gusto kong bawiin ang mga bagay na sinabi ko kung makababawas iyon sa nararamdamang sakit ni Rafaelle, but at the same time, I wanted to push through. I want her. Hindi ako titigil hangga't hindi umuuwi si Rafaelle sa akin.
"Can... can you give me time?"
"Take it..." I said to her. Iyon lang naman ang masasabi ko sa kanya. "Take all the time that you need. I just want you to know that I will be here when you're ready. I'm always here." Tumango si Rafaelle pagkatapos ay nagpaalam na siya sa akin. I helped her with her groceries, bago siya tuluyang umalis ay hinagkan niya muna ako sa pisngi. I inhaled Rafaelle's heavenly scent and as she leaves me in that parking lot, I did nothing but look at her. I love her so much. I was an asshole for leaving, pero gagawin ko talaga ang lahat para mabawi ko siya.
I went home that night with a heavy heart. Ang buong akala ko ay makakapahinga na ako pag – uwi sa mansion. By this time, Avo is already in bed, baka kasama niya si Elias Martin, baka pinangangaralan na naman niya ang kapatid ko, o baka naman tulog na talaga siya at nagmumukmok na naman si Elias Martin kung saang parte ng bahay, but to my dismay, Andy was there. She shouldn't be here, hindi naman kasi niya ito bahay. I sighed when she saw me. Hindi na ako makakatakas.
"Oh hi! How did it go? Did you finally get the girl or are you gonna kill yourself?"
"What did I ever do to you, Andy?" Exhausted na tanong ko. Ako kasi ang napapagod sa pinaggagawa at pinagsasabi ng hipag ko. Andy just grinned.
"Ano ka ba? We're siblings and we tease each other. I don't want you to kill yourself no! I am actually rooting for you two! Gawin mo lahat para maging hipag namin ni Cindy si Rafaelle ha! Avo likes her! It's the first time I am hearing that she likes the first girl that one of his grandsons introduced to her. Basta ha!" Hinampas pa ako ni Andy sa balikat. I could only smile at her. Thankful ako sa presence ni Andy sa buhay naming lahat. She made my brother happy, and our family a bit light. Hindi naman kami magkakasundo noon, but when she came to out lives, Andy changed a lot in it, isinama niya pa ang mga anak nila ni Ruel na naging source of happiness naming lahat.
I guess, Elias Martin felt envious when he saw how beautiful Elias' life now with his two child, kaya ganoon na lang niya kagusto na mabawi ang anak niya sa babaeng iyon at sa pamilya nito. It's just that he is having a hard time. We are all having a hard time. I sighed. I really want to be with Rafaelle now.
I told Andy that I'll be in my room. May pagprotesta pang nagaganap dahil gusto niya pang makipag-kuwentuhan sa akin. I wasn't in the mood. I wanted to call Rafa to tell her that I got home, pero wala akong karapatan at nangako ako sa kanyang hahayaan ko siya at bibigyan ko siya ng oras para mag-isip. All I want is approval from her. Approval na pwede ko na siyang i-pursue. I will fight hard and fair. Hindi naman ako tulad ng ibang mga kapatid ko na tuso. I play by the rules, ayokong makasakit.
