It gets easier

Chapter 8 / The easy part

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Gudrid would keep telling herself the same thing. "It's okay" and "I'll be okay." She knew she would, because she had been lucky enough to marry a kind man who accepted that she needed space and time to adjust to her new life. A life where her life-long dreams were out of reach, but luckily she didn't need to keep quiet about them either.

She spent time with her new in-laws, becoming close with her sister-in-law. She found out that the two of them were quite alike in some ways. Ylva sewed her own clothes, but they looked like men's clothes, with big bulky coats and pants, and she had a temper, not quiet and submissive like Gudrid was told wives needed to be, and Ylva was a wife and a mother. She supposed if she could be allowed to be that kind of wife and mother, then it would be much better than she had ever expected that life to be.

She knew Thorfinn would let her act like that.

She would occasionally bring her hand up to her hair, still amazed that Thorfinn would let her walk around like that. One thing was showing it to him, but not caring that everyone in the village saw? That was special. He was a special type of man; she already knew that. It was not hard to see, and she was also sure he wasn't trying to hide it.

She would let her hand glide from the edges of her hair and over her cheek. It was like she could still feel his touch there as he wiped her tears away with the kindest look in his eyes.

She couldn't have imagined meeting a man that would treat her so kindly, apologizing for something that wasn't his fault, and wishing that she could have seen the world, as she so wanted to.

She felt her cheek grow a little hotter underneath her fingertips just thinking of it. She wondered why that was.

She stood still but then shook her head violently, trying to think of something else. She had more than enough time to think of that later.

"Gudrid"

"I'm coming." Gudrid hurried over to her sister-in-law. They were walking through the market. Despite it being such a small town, they got traders from most of the Scandinavian countries; not even Leif's village got so many visitors. It had been quite isolated.

She supposed that was one positive to think about. Even if she couldn't go there, Iceland was closer to the rest of the world than Greenland had been.

Oh, that wasn't positive at all. She sighed, thinking of how it was closer than ever but still out of reach. Again, she tried to remind herself of what her mother-in-law had told her.

"What do you think we should make for dinner tonight? My husband and my eldest are coming home from their hunt, so they're bringing meat, but what else?"

"Huh? Uh, we?" Gudrid asked nervously after Ylva had spoken. She helped her mother-in-law, Helga, with a bit of laundry, but she hadn't been asked to do anything else.

She should have known that wouldn't last. She was a wife now, and she did have duties to tend to.

"Of course. Leif's told me you're a terrible cook, but so is Thorfinn, so unless I teach you some of what I know, the two of you are going to starve if I'm not around to feed you one day!"

"Well, he's a man; of course he can't cook. Men usually are ht expected to, are they?"

"They are in our family. My father could cook, though not as well as my mother. Thorfinn's cooking, however, is nearly poisonous." Ylva recounted. She had found it strange when she was younger, that her father would cook, but as an adult, as a mother herself, she loved him for it, because he had done it to ease her mother's burden.

Gudrid smiled while Ylva thought back on the past. She was finding it funny to picture Thorfinn, the kind man, serving his family such terrible food and then watching in horror as they got sick. She was also happy to learn more about him and about their father.

"Though I suppose it makes sense in a way, Father was gone before he could teach Thorfinn that sort of thing."

Her smile was quickly wiped off her face, reminding her that the man the family spoke so fondly of had died. She still wasn't sure when he had died exactly, but now it sounded like it had been when Thorfinn was only a small child.

Her heart hurt terribly at the thought.

She wasn't particularly close with her own father, but still knew that she would be distraught if he died. So having been so close to their father and then losing him must've been terrible

"Sorry" Gudrid gave her condolences, not knowing what else to say.

"No," Ylva straightened her back. "I'm the one who brought it up; now, let's take a look over there," she said, not sounding particularly sad.

Maybe Ylva had gotten over it, and Gudrid wondered if Thorfinn had too, but also wondered if that would be alright to ask about. Maybe not yet...

"Yeah, okay"


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Gudrid really hadn't done much; she had mostly just watched what Ylva did and listened to what she tried to teach her, adding a few ingredients to the pot when Ylva told her to, but it did bring her a deep sense of pride to watch the family enjoy something she had helped make.

The meat that Soren, Ylva's eldest, and Ari had brought home from their hunt was also very good.

She realized this part would be the easiest to get used to—the warmth that the family radiated. It wasn't just Thorfinn; it was all of them.

She had come to love Tulla and Leif dearly, but they had been strict, and in the beginning she had pushed them away, refusing to have any relationship with them after she married Thorvald. It wasn't like that now, and she was happy for it.

"Aunty, can you give me some more?"

"Huh?" Gudrid's eyes widened. She spent too much time thinking that day; as she had done at the market as well, she hadn't even noticed Ylva's youngest, her daughter, approach her with her empty bowl.

"Mom's busy talking with Soren," she grumbled, looking in the direction of her older brother and mother, and Gudrid chuckled, her heart warming.

She had never been an aunt before.

"Sure, hand it here." Gudrid nodded and was handed the bowl, using the ladle to fill it up again. "Be careful you don't spill on yourself, and blow on it first; it's still scalding hot."

"Thank you"

But instead of walking over to where she had sat before, she sat herself down beside Gudrid, taking Thorfinn's chair as he had left a few minutes earlier, probably just to use the outhouse, but it wasn't something he had announced to all of them.

"You want to sit with me?" Gudrid asked, happy and surprised.

"Mm, hmm," she nodded, pushing the food into her mouth. "Uncle Thorfinn has gone out, so I don't want you to be lonely."

She was a little taken aback by the comment but laughed it off; after all, it was definitely something a child would say. In its own way, it was very adorable.

"Well, thank you for that."

"You're welcome!"