It gets easier

Chapter 18 / Fine

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It was another three weeks before Leif's ship finally landed on the shore near Thorfinn's and Gudrid's home. And it was one of those days where everyone was out of their homes and down by the pier, swarming the ship as Leif made sales of whatever he'd brought with him, bought a few things from the locals, and entertained everyone with stories and his jokes at the same time.

It was truly wonderful to see the village so full of life, but because of that Gudrid and Thorfinn couldn't really get to Leif, but they decided that maybe that was also a bit of a good thing.

Of course, they planned to tell Leif that they'd like him to take them out of thud country, but they thought that it probably would be best if Leif was told of their wishes in a more private setting.

Gudrid muttered quietly about what she was sure his reaction to it was going to be, watching him from afar from where they sat on an overturned rowing boat. They also occasionally had casual conversations with the other villagers who were returning home with the goods they'd bought from Leif.

Thorfinn smiled, watching it all, forgetting to listen to Gudrid as she spoke to him.

He was thinking about the last time it was like this. The last time the village had been this alive was the last time Leif had come to visit. That was when Thorfinn learned he had been engaged, and he had dreaded it so much. It had turned into a terrible day. It was so different from what he was feeling now.

Absentmindedly, he took Gudrid's hand, resting beside her, still thinking back to that day.

He didn't even notice when they were approached by yet another familiar face.

"Bug eyes, hi." Gudrid greeted the man in front of them, and Thorfinn was brought back to the present, looking up to see that it was indeed their friend, and Leif's son, Bug eyes.

"It's good to see you, Bug Eyes. How has the journey been?"

"Yeah you too. Meh, it's been whatever. It's as usual, nothing special."

Thorfinn would believe it. The journey from Greenland to Iceland wasn't through dangerous waters. It would usually be a smooth ride unless they ran into a bad storm, which was rare this time of year, which was why Leif traveled at the times that he did.

"That's good to hear."

"More importantly, how's married life treating the two of you?" Bug eyes grinned, looking at Thorfinn's and Gudrid's linked hands, and then took a closer look at their faces. "Pretty good, huh?"

"Yeah," Thorfinn chuckled and blushed a little, raising his other hand to scratch at his nose. "I'd say so."

"Hm, dad'll be glad to hear it. He was already so optimistic last time he was here."

"Oh, he was?" Gudrid asked. She really hadn't had a heart to heart with Leif like Thorfinn had back then, so she wouldn't know just how happy their union really made him.

"Mhm, he was. He did tell me." Thorfinn nodded. "But, Bug eyes, about your father... we really need to talk with him about something."

Bug eyes raised an eyebrow; there has been a quick change in Thorfinn's tone of voice, clearly turning their friendly conversation into a more serious one.

"uh, okay? This sounds serious. What's it about? You can tell me."

Bug Eyes was actually terrible at keeping secrets; both Thorfinn and Gudrid had learned that many years ago, each in their own ways, but what they wanted wasn't really a secret. Most people already knew about it, so why not tell him as well?

"We want to ask him to take us with him on his next journey—well, your next journey, I suppose. What I'm trying to say is—"

"We want to leave Iceland." Gudrid cut in before Thorfinn began rambling, and for that he was grateful, not truly understanding why it had been so difficult.

Bug eyes' wide eyes were even wider than usual, blinking slowly and looking back and forth between the two of them.

"Huh? Uh... you want to... what?"

"We decided some time ago that leaving Iceland would be best for us. It's what both of us want." Thorfinn said it sincerely. Bug Eyes also knew Gudrid well, and he knew that Gudrid had always wanted to leave; he didn't want him to believe that she was forcing him in some way. He was telling the truth; both of them wanted this.

"Yeah, and we were really hoping that Leif would—"

"Okay." Bug eyes lifted his hands to stop them, cutting Gudrid off, looking almost terrified by this new knowledge he was getting. "I'm... gonna get dad."

"We were actually thinking of inviting you for dinner; we can talk about it then."

"Yeah, I'm still going to get him." He said and turned back to go get Leif, muttering just before he was out of earshot, "He's not going to be happy about this..."


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"After all I did to bring you back here, Thorfinn, and now you want to leave?! Why?" Leif held his forehead in his hands, sitting in the dim lights of the fireplace in Thorfinn's family home.

Thorfinn flinched, feeling that guilt again, but he was more sure now. He knew now what he and Gudrid truly wanted and needed.

"Leif... I'm so grateful for everything you've done. You saved me and reunited me with my family. I'll always be grateful, but... this decision to leave Iceland... it's because we, Gudrid and I, and the rest of us. My mother too, all agreed that it's the best decision we can make for our marriage. I need..." he trailed off, looking at his mother for support for a moment. "I need something different; somewhere I can figure out what I really need to do with this life of mine, and Gudrid needs to be happy, she deserves to finally fulfill her lifelong wish. Please, Leif."

Leif looked at Thorfinn, and Thorfinn knew that he saw a past version of him. He saw that beaten teenager, bruised, broken bones, and empty eyes, in a prison, lying on the dirty ground or being dragged out of a hall by the king's guards, eyes empty, a husk of the boy he had once been. A husk of the warrior he had been the previous day, and something completely unrecognizable from the happy boy he once was.

That was what came to Leif's mind whenever he pictured him being anywhere but in Iceland, and Thorfinn felt so sorry for having given Leif that image of him, which he could never erase from his mind.

"Leif," Thorfinn said, his voice soft, and the elderly man looked at him in his eyes. His tired and worried eyes were asking Thorfinn so many questions. "I'll be okay."

Gudrid put a hand on his shoulder and leaned a bit closer to him, also seeing the worry on Leif's face and understanding it. She had indeed been amused for a few moments, watching the initial confusion and panic set in, but she knew when it was time to be sincere, though she had her own way to do it. "Yeah, he won't get into any messes this time. I won't let him."

Leif scoffed, but Thorfinn was sure it mingled with a dry chuckle. "I'm sure you'll be the one to get him into messes."

"What?! That's so rude, I would never... at least not on purpose—"

"I don't think that's helping, Gudri." Thorfinn muttered to her, and Gudrid grumbled about it for a second.

Leif watched them a bit closer now. He saw how Gudrid's hand rested so comfortably on Thorfinn's shoulder and how easily Thorfinn had leaned into Gudrid's space as he muttered those words to her. He saw the way they looked at each other.

He'd been so taken aback by their request that he hadn't really spared a moment to notice those things.

They no longer looked like two young people forced into a loveless marriage, nor did they even look like they had when he left them last time, as awkward partners who were only just figuring things out. Now they looked so natural and truly in love with each other. Seeing them now, one would have never guessed that they had ever been unhappy with their marriage to each other.

It did pull at the corners of his lips, and Leif knew he'd lost.

"Fine..."

The word almost had a physical affect on everyone in the room, but especially Gudrid and Thorfinn, who froze completely, gaping at Leif with wide eyes.

"Well, isn't that what you wanted me to say?" Leif grumbled, teasing them a bit now.

"What? Yes, but—wait, really? No bribes and no—" Gudrid glanced at Helena. "No old favors? Just... "fine"?"

Thorfinn was surprised as well. He had hoped that Leif would listen to reason, but he had expected a much longer discussion. Or rather, he'd expected to be yelled at some more.

"Yes, fine!" Leif answered, and then he pointed a finger at the both of them, "But I do believe I still need a bit of a better explanation! After all, the last time I was here, you could barely look each other in the eyes, and now you want to go off into the world together?"

"Right?! That's almost exactly what I said!" Ylva almost jumped up out of her seat, and Thorfinn sighed, resting his head in his hand, but not a moment had passed before a smile was back on his face.

Thorfinn chuckled at his sister's outburst before he turned his focus back to Leif, who had a smile on his face as well now.

"Thank you, Leif. I'm again indebted to you."

Leif sighed, "No, you are not."

Thorfinn smiled a little wider; he knew that Leif didn't like to think of it like that. He hadn't helped him to gain any favors; he'd done it because he cared about him, and now he agreed to this because still he cared about him, him and Gudrid, of course.

"Thank you..."

Thorfinn looked down at the hand squeezing his, only realizing after a few moments of silence had passed just how tightly Gudrid was holding him, tight enough for her hand to shake with strain, but she didn't even seem to notice. She was still looking straight ahead at Leif with a fire in her eye and a barely contained grin on her face.

Oh, he knew; she could hardly wait.

He raised his other and put it on top of hers, holding her hand in both of his.

The rest of the evening went with pleasant conversations and discussions, mostly Leif asking what their plan truly was, whether they'd stay with him for the duration of the journey or go off on their own in the hopes that they'd eventually find someone to take them back to Iceland.

It felt pretty good to go over all of it with Leif. Sure, Thorfinn and Gudrid, and Thorfinn's family, had all gone over ideas and plans for what felt like hundreds of times, but this time it was real; it was no longer just a plan.

"I'm not going behind schedule because of you two. I stay here for one week; that's that. Sorry, Helga, Ylva." Leif eventually told them all, giving Gudrid and Thorfinn a deadline.

They already knew, of course. They hadn't been naive enough to think that they'd have long after Leif arrived, so Thorfinn had already made sure to find the most essential belongings he knew they should pack, and he'd also explained it to friends and coworkers in the village.

"We understand."

"Honestly, I'm ready to leave tomorrow!" Gudrid laughed before she clapped a hand over her mouth in terror, wondering if that was an incredibly rude thing to say in front of her in-laws.

She didn't have to worry though; her new family knew what kind of person she was, and they adored her, so all they could do was laugh at Gudrid's excitement. Even Leif couldn't keep himself from laughing out loud, but his was a bit more sinister.

"Don't think it's gonna be an enjoyable trip you two! While you're on my ship you'll have to work your asses off."

Thorfinn groaned, letting his head hang low, as it felt exactly like it had when Ulva told Thorfinn he'd be her slave to make up for leaving.

"Yup, counted on it." Gudrid continued on with her cheerful attitude however, and Thorfinn's dejection only lasted a few moments.