It gets easier

Chapter 16 / Real

—

Morning seemed to arrive quickly after that conversation they had in the middle of the night. They had fallen asleep again, wrapped up in a tangle of arms and legs, feeling extremely tired but relaxed from having made an actual decision on what to do.

What Thorfinn wouldn't have given to stay like that with Gudrid, letting the morning pass as they continued to lay in each other's arms, but he still needed to work, so he gently untangled himself from his sleeping wife, but he woke her up in doing so.

She raised her head as he dragged himself out of bed, her hair falling into her face, making her look as tired as he was sure she felt.

He smiled at her, and she blinked, seeming confused about something, which in turn made him as confused as her.

"What's wrong?" He asked, but she didn't seem to register that he had asked her anything.

"Thorfinn?" She called out to him.

"Yes?"

"Was last night a dream?" She asked, and he let out a breath as he smiled at her tired face, realizing what she was confused about. "We talked about—we agreed to..." she trailed off, searching carefully for her next words. "Was it real?"

"Yes, Gudrid, it was real. It is real." He chuckled.

Gudrid sat up all the way now, her hands squeezing the fur on their bed in expectation and hope. He couldn't help but smile a bit wider, feeling more confident in the decision they had made as he now watched her, barely believing that it could have been real.

"Really?! A-and... you're sure?" She asked. "You weren't just too tired to think clearly?"

Thorfinn blinked, pulling his tunic down over his head.

"No, of course I meant it." He answered and made his way over to her. "Even if I had been tired, I wouldn't agree to such a thing without being completely sure. That would just hurt you."

Gudrid blushed and smiled brightly, in one quick motion, reaching out and grabbing Thorfinn, pulling him down quickly until their lips met.

Thorfinn let out a sound of surprise, and his eyes widened for just a moment before they shut. This was still so new. Laying beside one another and holding hands was, for some reason, so much easier to get used to. But Thorfinn was always quick to return the kiss, despite how warm he felt his face becoming.

When Gudrid pulled back from him, she continued to hold him close, so close that he continued to be able to feel her breath on his face, and he could tell that Gudrid was trying not to laugh, and he knew that he blushed even more at that.

"G-Gudrid..." he stammered as his arms instinctively went around her.

"I love you." She told him. Since the day the two of them confessed to each other, she had said it many times, and she always seemed to accept that Thorfinn wasn't able to say it back to her every time. That was simply a way that they were different, but still, he smiled at her in that moment and relaxed more.

He crouched further so Gudrid could bury her face in his neck, and they stayed there for a while.

Thorfinn threaded his fingers through her hair carefully; its length was now a reminder of the time they had spent getting to know each other. of the time it had taken them to get to this point.

It was so odd how quickly they could get used to this, the feeling of being in each other's arms, expressing their love to each other, and the idea of leaving everything behind and being only the two of them.

He held her a little tighter and whispered back to her in a shaky voice, "I love you."

The words were heavy and not easy for him to say, but he said them anyway. He needed to, and he really wanted to as well.

"I truly..." he continued, choking on his words. "I want to show you the world. I look forward to that, Gudrid."

"Does that mean you're not afraid anymore?" She asked, remembering that emotion clearly from that night.

He shook his head. "I don't think this fear will go away, and neither will the guilt. I know I'll continue to feel it. I just..." He stopped, and he smiled again, letting himself imagine their future. If he put his guilt and fear aside, then he knew what it was going to be like. Wherever they went, they would be happy. Truly happy. "The good will outweigh the bad."

She ran her fingers through his hair as he finished speaking, a pleasant silence filling the air.

He closed his eyes, feeling her breathe in and out slowly, completely forgetting that he was supposed to get ready to go to work, and by the time he realized it, he ended up being ten minutes late.