It gets easier

Chapter 14 / Love

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Gudrid still couldn't stop thinking about it all, and Thorfinn certainly didn't make it easy to forget either.

He was oblivious about the feelings coursing through her and just continued to be his usual self. Except... there was one thing that seemed to remain changed. He held her hand so easily now. Well, easily after the first time at dinner that night.

He had looked at her as if asking for permission, and she had granted it, stunned for a moment. This was the man who had told her that she shouldn't want to hold his hands just one day before.

Nobody said anything about it, but she noticed Ylva's glance, raising an eyebrow as if saying, "You're still not sure?"

Gudrid blushed, looking up and into Thorfinn's eyes for that fraction of a second. This wasn't easy anymore. She couldn't act like she was okay with this. Sitting next to him, holding his hand, he felt her heart beat quicker and her face grow hotter while he looked like he had no idea.

That jerk had no idea what he was putting her through. Why couldn't he just have kissed her?!

Gudrid looked down at the cup in her hand. Wine. Helga had thought that Thorfinn telling Gudrid the truth had been a good enough occasion to serve wine.

In the deep red of her reflections, her blush seemed to disappear.

"What do you mean? What do you do? You kiss him!" Ylva's words entered Gudrid's mind again, and she closed her eyes for a brief moment. "Then tell him how you feel." Was something Ylva had also said.

She made it sound so easy, but maybe that was how it was supposed to be.

She looked at Thorfinn again, and he noticed, smiling at her from the corner of his eyes. Then she looked back down, feeling determined, and chugged all the remaining wine in her cup.

It left a bitter taste on her tongue and a burning in her throat.

"G-Gudrid?" Thorfinn stuttered next to her, surprised and curious as to why Gudrid just did that.

All the others looked surprised at her as well, all except Ylva, who looked like she was trying not to laugh. Somehow, she knew exactly what Gudrid was thinking.

Gudrid stood up and looked down at Thorfinn, who seemed to shrink from her serious gaze. "We need to talk."

"What?" He asked first, blinking at her. And it was just so quiet. "Uh, have I done something wrong?"

"Huh?" Gudrid sputtered, realizing that it really sounded like that. "No! No, it's nothing like that; it's just—we really need to talk about something important."

With the same worried look on his face, Thorfinn slowly stood up, swallowing a lump in his throat as they came face-to-face again.

"Don't believe her, Thorfinn. When women say you need to talk, it's definitely something you've done wrong," Ari whispered at Thorfinn as he walked past him before he was elbowed by Ylva.

Ylva began to quietly scold her husband, but Helga continued to follow the pair with her eyes, wondering if it was what age she thought it was about.

The only place with privacy to talk was outside, so that's where the two of them went, not saying a word to each other before the door was closed and they had taken a few steps away from the walls.

It wasn't as cold as the first day they had met, when they had their first conversation walking through the snow, but Gudrid could still faintly see their breaths in the air.

"You're worrying me. What's wrong?" Thorfinn asked her, approaching her where she stood a little further away. "You look scared..."

Her eyes widened a little at his last comment. She supposed it made sense. The alcohol helped a little, but she was still scared of telling him.

She opened and closed her mouth, trying to speak, but nothing came out, so she cleared her throat and held out her hand.

He reached out and grabbed her hand without hesitation, holding it as if it were the most normal thing to do.

"Gudri-"

"I-" she began at the same time as him and waited a moment to speak again. When she did make a sound, she groaned loudly and brought her other hand up to ruffle her hair. "I'm sorry."

"No, don't be; just... what is it?

She pressed her lips into a tight fit and felt her cheeks become even hotter.

It's easy.

Just say it.

If she has to explain why she's begun to feel this way while he looks at her all confused, she'll simply die.

It's easy...

"I-" Gudrid stuttered, feeling her throat close up.

He tilted his head to the side.

"Gudrid, what-"

"I love you!" Gudrid shouted much louder than was needed, and she didn't even realize that she closed her eyes when she did. With her eyes closed, she could feel tears in the corner of her eyes.

Thorfinn's hand tightened around hers in surprise, but that was all. She didn't hear him suck in a quick breath of air, and he didn't say anything.

What kind of look was on his face?

Gudrid carefully opened her eyes to see, and then her eyes widened.

She had never seen that look on his face before.

His eyes were wide, his mouth was hanging slightly open, like he had tried to say something but had given up on it, and his face was bright red, from the tip of his nose to his ears.

The silence continued on as the two of them stared at each other for a few more moments, but then Thorfinn swallowed a lump in his throat and leaned forward a bit.

"I think I misheard you."

Gudrid frowned. Did he wish he had misheard her?

"No," she said firmly. "I said I loved you. I have fallen in love with you, Thorfinn, because..."

"Because?..." He asked, sounding almost hopeful to be given an explanation for something so confusing.

"Because... how couldn't I?" She answered, becoming more serious as she remembered that Ylva had said that he didn't notice women liking him. So this was the first time anyone had confessed their love to him.

"How couldn't you?" He repeated it like it had been a ridiculous thing to say. "That's... but..." he was about to bring up his past, but knew it would only irritate her. She had already told him that she didn't mind his past, so of course that wasn't something that would hold her back from having feelings for him.