Pretending | Max Verstappen

- 44 -

Max

I had one last thing in mind, one last try before I would officially lose my mind and give up even though I would never want that. But seeing Zoe breaking down in my drivers room, running away as I wanted to hug her, it broke me.

And it broke me every day a bit more and it wouldn't be long until I would completely be broken. The season had just started and I didn't want to affect it somehow, but it was really getting hard to focus only on the driving.

Luckily we had two weeks off before the next race and  I wanted to take Zoe somewhere, one last place that should bring back all the memories of me, the positive ones and not the bad ones that she had right now.

I really had been hard to convince her to come with me as she had said that I wasn't her father and couldn't tell her what to do. It broke her as the memory of her father was a hurtful one as he was dead.

But it also broke me that she didn't want me there after she had said that. I remembered back when we had been laying under the stars on her fathers birthday, looking up to him while telling each other how much we loves each other.

My love for her was still there, no question, but slowly it was getting hard to love her. How should you love a person without touching them, without being happy with them, when this other person didn't see you that same way.

If this trip wouldn't change anything then maybe then my heart would accept it and let her go, while breaking in million pieces no question, but of course I didn't want that. All I want was my girlfriend back, my love, Zoe.

"Really, you're bringing me here, in your country?" Zoe asked as we stepped out of the plane into the fresh air of Amsterdam.

"Yeah." I simply returned and smiled slightly at her.

"Don't bring me to your family, I can't do that Max." she suddenly go scared, "If we really were a thing then I can't face them now, I would only tell them bad things about you."

I smiled, she really cared for me and somewhere inside her brain she knew that I wasn't bad before the Ricky thing.

"Don't worry, they know everything, every bad word I've said."

"Really?" she asked but slightly laughed.

"Yep, I always cried my heart out at my sister and mother how I have everything fucked up cause I treated you so bad even though I was so in love with you."

"Was?" Zoe quietly asked and looked down.

I surprised me as before this flight she was scared of me, maybe angry and wouldn't talk anything more than necessary. Maybe over the long flight something changed, I wasn't sure, but it was going in the right direction so I was happy.

"Not was, am." I quickly returned and stepped closer, and this time she didn't back off, she just slowly looked up, "I am Zoe, I am in love with you."

We locked eyes for a moment and I saw something in hers that I haven't seen since before the drama, but it quickly disappeared and she stepped away.

"Where do we go now." she simply asked and turned in her walking.

Immediately I had to smirk as she was really looking cute in her sweat shirt, even it was none of mine, but her little smile and the expecting look on her face was sweet.

"Not to my family." I laughed, before I added more quietly, "At least not yet."

Zoe just nodded and together we walked over to our car, with which we left the airport and also Amsterdam. Curious Zoe looked out of the window the whole time, like a little child on its first car ride and it was adorable.

Maybe, just maybe this would really be the missing key, I really hoped so. Half an hour later we arrived in Zandvoort and Zoe's eyes got big as she saw the sea.

"We are at the beach?!" she beamed and I only nodded my head, a heat storming through my body as I saw her smiling.

I wanted to ask if she remembered anything but I had know over the last months that this question was the killer, like literally, every time I had asked it I got a death stare and silence for the next hours.

I didn't want to destroy this now so I kept my mouth shut as I jumped out of the car, quickly opening Zoe's door. She smiled and thanked me, but as I held my hand out so she could take it, she just walked by it and over to the beach. It was a try.

Together we strolled over the sand and towards the water. Immediately I remembered last summer and the race here, Zoe's birthday, her cancelled flight, the way I sneaked into her hotel room, or better Carlos's as they had called me.

God these memories were everything and I only hoped that Zoe would get them too. She was just two steps in front of me, quietly looking over the water. 

"You remember last summer, where we were here at the beach, after you've tried to run away." I slowly started, not sure where this would lead.

But Zoe only nodded her head, slowly, and I wasn't sure what it meant.

"We were here and I told you th"

"That you love me." she whispered and slowly turned around, a tear running down her face.

Immediately I also got watery eyes and I could only nod my head. In one second I saw her memories collapsing as everything shoot back, all the memories of me, us, our relationship, I saw it in her eyes and the water that was running down her cheeks.

"I... I am so sorry Max, I... I just"

I interrupted her by taking a step forward, cupping her face and laying my lips on hers. God, I had missed this, the feeling of her soft lips on mine. For a moment my heart stopped as she wasn't moving, but then I felt her hands on my arms and her lips moving against mine.

It was a sweet kiss but it said more than thousand words. How much she was sorry for not remembering me, not telling me that she only remembered the insulting. How glad I was to have her back, but also how sorry I was for everything that had happened to her.

After a long slow kiss I leaned back and brushed a hair out of her face.

"I am sorry my love." I whispered and a tear ran down my cheek.

"No, I am. I am sorry for not remembering everything, you must hate me now, I am so sorry but... but..." Zoe started but began crying.

"Stop baby, it wasn't your fault okay? It was mine, I should have never insulted you that way then you wouldn't have these bad memories of me." I carefully returned and she looked up.

"So just let only collect good memories together from now on, so there isn't anything bad left." she whispered and slightly smiled, but I started grinning.

"You wanna be together with me again?!" I asked excited as I always was scared that Zoe would leave me after everything.

"Of course Max, maybe I wasn't clear in my head for a bit, but as far as I remember have I never broken up with you."

"I guess you're right my love." I returned cheeky before I leaned in for another kiss.

God, was I glad that this trip brought the memories back, otherwise I would have probably drown myself into the ocean. But not now of course, with my beautiful girlfriend back by my side.

We both smiled as we broke apart from the kiss.

"Are you now fine with meeting me family?" I asked and grinned at her.

"Oh my god, they surely think I am crazy." Zoe returned and got a bit scared.

"No." I immediately answered, laying a hand on her cheek, "They understand everything and they really wanna meet you properly."

"Okay fine." Zoe smiled at me, before she got all serious again, looking me deep into the eyes, "I love you Max."

All the sleeping butterflies in my stomach woke up and it was crazy how they stormed through my body after these words. How could I have though that I could let her go? Never, this woman was my everything, my life and I was more than happy that I had her back.