Pretending | Max Verstappen

- 27 -

Zoe

It was Saturday here in Zandvoort and I really had managed to stay out of Max's way. Okay it wasn't that hard as he was pretty busy here at his home race but also during the training session I hadn't talked to him.

When I had entered the paddock on Thursday there had been many weird looks and comments but I just ignored them, it was my last weekend here and after that I would be gone anyway so I didn't care.

Max had tried to talk to me and often looked at me from across the garage but I always manage to go away or disappear right in time so he wasn't able to talk to me. I was scared, scared that he would say something that would hurt me even more than I already was.

I really liked him and the thought that he knew about my past was painful enough but I didn't need to hear it from his mouth, that would be a thousand times more painful for me. Of course Christian and also Lando had encouraged me to talk to him, but I wanted to wait for the last minute possible, because I was afraid that it would be awkward afterwards the rest of the weekend.

I had spoken to Lando directly on Thursday, apologizing that I had  blocked him but luckily he had understood it and was completely fine with my past. Even though he was a bit sad, that I hadn't told him earlier, but he though understood that I didn't want to confront myself with my past.

He also had told me that he had spoken to Max and that the Dutch was on the same point of view like the Brit, he wasn't mad or disgusted about my past. At least that's what Lando had told me, but as I knew May there was something else, there always was and that part was the one I was scared about.

I sighed loud and buried my head in my hands while I was sitting at my desk in my office in the hospitality. Qualifying was bout to start soon and I had to walk over to the garage for the session, to look at the data from Max's car.

The possibility of him being there was therefore very high and I was scared. I didn't want to discuss everything between mechanics and other engineers, who all didn't look and speak to me different than before. I wondered what Christian had told them.

Speaking of him, he really tried to be there for me. On that day, when he had visited me at my home we talked for hours. He had told me stories about my dad and how they became such close friends. It was very emotional some times but Christian was there for me, like he had always been.

Since my first day in the headquarter and even more since the beginning of this year I felt something between us, he had always been so nice and friendly towards me, even though I was just some data analyst.

Suddenly there was a knock on my door and without looking up I invited the person in, assuming it was probably Christian, who wanted to check on me before qualifying. The door closed from the inside again and as he wasn't saying a word I looked up and was met with a familiar person, but not Christian.

"Zoe." he whispered, so quietly I barley heard it.

"What... What do you want?" I stuttered, clearly not prepared for this conversation now.

"Can we talk?"

"Ma... Max... qualifying is about to start." I said as he slowly made his way over to my desk, before he went past it and leaned against the edge of it, next to my chair.

Scared and not sure what to do I rolled back with the chair to bring some space between us. Then we just looked at each other, not sure where to start.

"I am sorry." I suddenly blurred out causing max to widen his eyes, "You... you could've been dead because of me and I..."

I couldn't finish it as the tears were running out of my eyes and the realization of what could have had happened in Budapest hit me. Ashamed I wanted to turn around in the chair but max was quick and grabbed the arm rest to pull me in front of him.