Destined to be?

Chapter 4

Eli

Hearing you actually say the words hit me like a punch in the gut.
It's not like I didn't know that you had a boyfriend, hell I've seen the guy. Seen you with him.
Even then that was a pain to watch.
Watching you with someone else when you should be with me.
Shaking my head.
That was your choice.
All you needed was to see if you could have what we had with anyone else.
That for a fact I can say you don't.
When you spit the words at me they weren't filled with anything but a warning. There was no emotion behind them. They sounded hollow as if you just needed to hear the words yourself.
I had put you through a lot.
That was one reason why I let you go.
You needed your family in your life, deserved them.
You deserved everything.
If i would have forced you to stay if i would have brought you back that first chance i got when i first saw you walking at that intersection.
You would be so furious you wouldn't be able to see past the anger to the deeper feelings you had.
Already having enough trouble dealing with how you feel now.
Time.
That's what you needed. What you asked for when you left.
I wasn't lying when I said I will wait because one day. One day you will be mine again.
Until then I just have to enjoy your sight from afar.
Then again maybe I shouldn't.
Considering how little self control I had just this afternoon.
Just sitting there with you, being able to talk to you.
A tease of your attention but I would gladly take anything that you were willing to give.
You were caught off guard just a bit, surprised to see me but you had stayed.
Smiling at how cute you had been when you tried to tell me that you would call the police.
I could see that you had more questions.
That you had wanted to talk more but I could also see the panic flowing through your system when you realized how long you had been sitting there. Only further confirming my suspicions that no one knew you were there.
I had wanted so badly to offer you a ride home.
But I knew the answer before I even asked. Besides, how would you explain coming out of a strange vehicle?
No.
You have made that trip plenty of times.
Though that hadn't stopped me from following from afar just until you got to the street before yours before I had made myself turn off.
Glad that my only job was to upkeep the lawn.
A mindless duty.
Mowing the lawn, edging the sidewalk, trimming the hedges.
Taking barely any focus because most of my thoughts were on you.
Thinking about how many hours might pass before my phone rings and I pick up to hear your sweet voice.
Making sure to stay in the lines. Mowing in squares, going smaller as I get closer to the middle. Only one of the designs that I have come used to doing. One of the easier ones as well.
Wiping a bit of sweat away, the day wasn't too hot but I welcomed my body's natural way of cooling my skin.
Still able to feel the tingle in the tips of my fingers even over the vibrations coming from the blade spinning machine.
How my body seemed to become alive when I touched you.
Your smooth skin, soft hair.
I had wanted so badly to lean in and press a kiss on those perfect lips.
Would you have kissed me back?
Yes, thinking to myself but a look of wonder and then shock would follow.
Knowing that you felt that connection to, but how much that also scared you.
Mainly based on how I came into your life.
How I had taken you from the street.
At the moment it had seemed like my only choice.
The only way I could get close to you and for you to get to know me.
What would have happened if I had waited. If I had just kept an eye on you and waited until you were eighteen. Then just casually bump into you and ask you out like a normal person would have.
No.
I wouldn't change what I did.
As sick as I knew that sounded.
My entire life I had to work and fight for what I have.
Why should that be any different for you?
I knew from the first moment I saw you.
Then I tried to fight that knowing feeling, tried to walk away and go about with my life. Everything inside me knew not to.
As if there was some force bringing us together. One that was still at work because of how many times I've caught sight of you since you left.
You are mine.
Chopping the edges of the bushes as the thought of that kid with his hands all over you.
Slamming the trimmers shut when the image of him kissing you flashed behind my eyes.
He did not deserve you.
He was not worthy of you.
But you already knew that didnt you?
Yet you decided to stay with him.
Why?
The strain in your voice when you said you had a boyfriend.
How long has your relationship been going under? How long have you realized that he can't give you what I can?
How long are you going to keep fighting us?
Each day I wake up and I miss you even more.
Missed just having you curled up at my side with your head on my chest. How even though I needed to leave to get up for work, I would just lay there and watch your sleeping form. How happy I was knowing that you would be there when I came home from a job. Having you by my side as we watched movies together even though I never really paid much attention to them.
You did though.
You loved to go over the details afterwards.
And I just loved watching your expression's as the pictures moved on the screen.
I missed having you sit on the kitchen counter as I cooked.
How your face would go blank when you would get lost in your head.
I could always tell how you were feeling based on your expression even though you had tried to hide that at one point until you realized that wasn't working.
Your eyes never lied.
Those beautiful blue green eyes.
Their shade was like a mood ring.
A permanent emotion detector.
So light almost see through when you are scared. Deep blue when you had feelings of lust, a murkier green when you were worried.
Then again I wouldn't dismiss how your cheeks would go pink when I gave you compliments.
So many tells.
I knew everyone of them.
Or at least i used too. Though for the most part they still seemed to be the same. Maybe you developed new ones. Learned to mask them better.
Considering that you had everyone fooled that you couldn't remember what happened. Then again maybe they just didn't know you the way I do.
From what you had told me of your parents and how you had found out about the late bills and how you had changed afterwards without even having a hint of suspicion in return.
How could they not have known that something was wrong.
After you had told me about how much they loved and cared for you.
They should have recognized something was up.
Should have seen the worry.
Considering how much more you had applied yourself in school.
Amara knew.
Even when she did, you were reluctant to waiver from your plan. A plan that was killing you slowly.
How much you talked about the countless nights you stayed up just to finish projects and essays. All so you could get a higher g.p.a so that you could get more money in scholarships so your parents wouldn't have to worry.
That was one thing I loved so much about you.
One thing that we had in common.
We would do anything for our loved ones no matter what.
No matter how badly it hurt us.
No matter how our actions would change us.
Just to make the people we hold close to our hearts are happy.
Sometimes even to bring justice to them as well.