Destined to be?

Chapter 22

Eli.

Breathing in your scent as I focused on the softness of your skin letting myself calm down.
You weren't saying that you didn't love me, you were just saying that you weren't sure.
We've gone through something similar before.
At least you were still admitting to yourself that you did have feelings.
"Do you love Brayden?"
"No." The answer was automatic without even an ounce of hesitation. I felt some of the tension in my shoulders release. "But I could have if I hadn't met you."
I couldn't be mad at the honesty in your words.
I never wanted you to feel as if you had to lie to me or keep things to yourself just so you wouldnt upset me.
That meant that I would have to hear things like this.
I lost control when I heard those two words leave your mouth. Thinking that you were giving up on us, trying to run from what could be.
I didn't care that you saw me cry, I needed you to see just how much those words hurt. To see how much I care about you.
Reading between your words.
'If I hadn't met you.'
That meant that deep down you knew how you felt. Your heart knew who it belonged to, it was just your overthinking getting in the way.
"I love you, Sarah. Nothing is ever going to change that. No matter what you say. Just do one thing for me. That's all that I ask."
"What?" You said in a whisper so light it was more like a breath of wind.
Reaching up grabbing onto your hands holding them in mine, grazing my thumbs over your soft skin.
"Give me a chance, a real chance to be your boyfriend, take you on dates, bring you flowers. I want to be a part of your life. The life that you choose, no matter what that is."
"Eli." You started, hesitation in your tone.
"Finish school first. Go to the dance with Brayden. Walk across the stage for graduation. Then when all that is done give us a chance. We can make up a story for how we first met so that we have something to tell others. Just give this a chance so that we can each see where it goes. Okay?"
Feeling as if actual fireworks were going off in my chest as I watched you bob your head. Immediately I leaned forward and placed a kiss on your forehead catching you off guard but you hadn't tried to pull away.
Good.
So we had a plan.
A plan that would allow me to have more time with you even though I had to wait to do so.
That didn't matter.
I would wait an eternity if it meant that you would be in my life.
"How did you know I was going to the dance?"
That was the first thing that you said and the question was so simple I had to push back a laugh.
"I remember you talking about missing the dance last year. How you were upset that you wouldn't be able to go."
"You remembered that?"
"I remember everything you've told me."
There it was. That look in your eyes as if you had the perfect balance of awe and disbelief. A look that you have mastered over the time that ive known you.
"And you're fine with the fact that I'm going with Brayden." This time raising one of your brows knowing that even saying his name irritates me.
"I want you to have a good time and if that means that paint boy needs to be there then so be it."
"Paint boy?" Finally seeing my light hearted girl poking through as you chuckled childishly saying the name I had given that boy friend of yours.
"Yes, paint boy, though if I had any say in it I would be taking you myself."
Then your laughter was gone, your face going blank.
Shit.
That was too far.
I shouldn't have said that even though I actually meant it. You were already so confused with everything that you had going on in your life, I did not want to add onto that any more than I already was.
Seeing your eyes gloss over, your sight going distant. Looking at my shirt and yet somehow completely through me at the same time.
Cursing myself as I tried to think of anything to say to change the subject, anything to pull you away from whatever place your mind had gone because it did not look like something good.
Worry etching your face.
Come on.
Think.
Anything.
Anything at all.
Racking my brain.
Why did I have to say that out loud?
"How's school going? Any good classes?" I finally spit out, seeming to break you out of that trance.
"Good. Ummm, classes. There's a few that I like."
"Yeah. Which one is your favorite?" Letting out a breath of ease now that we were actually having a conversation. Besides, I've missed so much in your life and I want to hear all about it.
"Well I actually fell in love with photojournalism. Taking pictures, capturing moments."
Automatically looking down at your necklaces. To the one shaped as a camera with your birthstone centered as the lens.
Now that one made more sense.
"So you found something that you love to do."
"Well, yeah. I do like to take random pictures. I'm just not sure if that's what I WANT to do." Shrugging your shoulders and squinching up that cute little nose of yours. "My dad is going to talk to some people that he works with to see if they would be willing to talk to me about it since they actually do photography for a living."
"That's great Sarah. You'll have to show me some of the pictures you have taken. I would love to see them."
"Oh um. I left my phone at my house."
You come out and meet me in the middle of the night and you didn't even bring your phone for emergencies. I don't know whether i should feel good that you felt as if you hadn't needed to bring the device or tell you to always make sure that you had your phone with you.
Then again maybe you left it behind for a good reason.
"Next time then." I say instead.
"Yeah." You agreed with a small smile on your face.
"Any other classes that you enjoy?"
"Well." This time you stopped shyly and I noticed a hint of pink coloring your cheeks as you looked down into your lap.
What class would make you blush like that. Some sort of child caring class, I already know that you would make an amazing mom. Did you want kids? Pushing the idea aside knowing that it was way too early to be thinking about that. Besides, I wanted you all to myself for a while at least.
"I'm taking wood shop."
"Wood shop." I say, surprised. That was not what i was expecting but a hint of pride spilt over me.
"Yeah. Nothing too crazy. I've made a birdhouse, some pallets. I tried making a little box with a drawer but I couldn't quite get the measurements down. Let's just say that I made a box."
"Well if you ever want a more in depth lesson on working with wood i would be more than happy to teach you."
"That's kind of why I decided on that class actually. Thinking about all the furniture that you built by hand. I guess I just wanted to see what it took to do stuff like that. It's not easy, I will tell you that."
"That's probably what I like most about it. Knowing that it takes work and a lot of practice and patience to get things to where they need to be."
The clock on the dashboard caught my attention then as the numbers changed to read four thirty am.
We've been in this parking lot for two hours already. Even though I would be more than happy to stay here all day and continue our conversation, I knew that I needed to get you home before your parents woke up and found you missing.
Again.
Making sure that your body was fully in the truck as I backed away and closed the door hoping back into the driver seat knowing by the look on your face that you had looked at the clock yourself.
"Oh my gosh. I have to get home."
"I know." Putting her into gear and hitting the gas.
"I have to get home before my dad wakes up."
"I'll get you there. I promise."
"If he wakes up and he realizes that I'm not there."
"You will be." Trying to ease the fear I know was bubbling up in your gut because I could hear it in your voice.
"I shouldn't have even left the house, what was I thinking? If they wake up and find that I'm gone. I can't put them through that again. I have to."
"Sarah. Breath. I'm going to get you home. What time does your dad normally wake up?"
"Five."
"Ok. See we have plenty of time. You'll be back in your house and in your room with time to spare."
"Please hurry."
Pressing my foot further down on the gas at your plea. Wanting you to know that I was aware of how you felt at this moment. Just enough to show you that I was trying but not too much to get pulled over.
No, that would put you into a full blown panic attack which would then cause the officer to question us even further then that would lead to how we knew each other and why you were out with me so late. Not to mention that your parents would also be notified.
We hadn't been far so I was pulling down the alley in just a couple of minutes already guessing that you wanted me to drop you off in the same place.
Noticing how your hand was on the handle looking as if you were ready to jump out even though I hadn't come to a stop yet.
Resting my hand on your arm wanting to keep you calm and in the car. Not wanting you to hurt yourself.
Also if anyone did happen to be looking out their window then a girl bolting from a random truck that was still moving wouldn't look so good.
Glad that you seemed to understand what I was doing, staying in your seat, your leg bouncing so hard that I could feel the vibrations coming through to my side.
Coming to a full stop before hitting the very end of the alley hoping that would give you more cover.
Without a word you got out, closing the door and speed walked around to the sidewalk. Almost halfway down when you turned around and looked directly at me.
Nodding my head, I gave you a wave and a smile.
Taking in a deep solid breath as my heart beat just a bit quicker when you returned the action before turning back around and continuing on your path back to your house.
"Goodbye for now, beautiful."