Echoes of Resilience

1

Six Months In Captivity

The air was cold and damp, the room had a musty smell that she had gotten used to after the first couple of months she was stuck there. Wrapping herself in the ratty blanket her captor left behind Meredith tried to calm down the chattering of her teeth. It was the middle of winter in Seattle and the tiny space heater he provided wasn't enough to keep her warm. Closing her eyes she tried to remember life before he took her; flashes of tequila shots and laughing over textbooks with friends fill her brain as she tries not to cry knowing that even if she makes it out of here alive, her life will never be what it once was.

She was in her final year of medical school enjoying a night out with her friends before exams started when he approached her. He was flirting with her and smiling in a way that made her feel safe, he continued to buy her shots as she ranted about medical school and how she often questions if pissing off her mom was truly worth the stress of becoming a surgeon. He flashed her that McDreamy smile and assured her that all the stress would pay off once she was walking across the stage for her diploma.

He laughed at her jokes and told her that her dark and twisty personality was like a breath of fresh air, a refreshing break from the unrelenting optimism he needs to maintain in his work as a neurosurgeon. He asked if she had an interest in neuro and she said she did but that she also felt a natural push towards general surgery, probably due to the fact that her mother is a general surgery legend. He said when you feel a natural pull towards something you shouldn't fight it, then he asked if she wanted to get out of there. She said yes.

Now she wonders what would have happened if she said no. Would he have tried to change her mind? Would have taken no for an answer and she would have gone on to complete her exams as planned? Would he have waited and followed her home? Or would he have just grabbed her in the parking lot? The only thing she knows for sure is that there's no way out but that he always comes back. She's not sure what is more terrifying, the fact that he always comes back or the thought of what would happen to her if he didn't.

She remembers leaving the bar, she remembers being more unsteady on her feet than she had been in the past despite drinking the same amount. She lets him lead her to his car and listens as he whispers about the natural pull he feels towards her, then it's all black and the next thing she remembers is waking up in this room chained to the bed.

That was six months ago and she's starting to lose hope that she'll ever be free again. She feels a wave of nausea at the thought that she's going to die in this room, that all the nights spent studying medicine just to spite her mom we're done in vain and she'll never get to do anything with everything she has learnt. She grew up in the hospital, it is all she knows, she doesn't know how she has managed the last six months without the unpredictably of the hospital. Throughout her life her one constant has been controlled chaos, there is nothing controlled about the chaos she is living now. Before she had structure and procedure, there wasn't a gray area. She had the answers, she knew things would be okay. You can't save all patients, but there are steps to take before you can declare them dead. There are rules and regulations in a hospital, it is as much of a controlled environment as possible, whereas this room is a free for all. Derek makes the decisions and she either submits or she pays the price.

She's brought out of her thoughts by the loud beeps of the door unlocking, alerting her of his presence. She quickly wipes her face trying to hide that she was crying and slips on her mask of indifference, as if it doesn't matter that the nice guy from the bar stole her life because he felt the same pull towards her that she feels towards general surgery. This chaos is not controlled and withholding her true emotions may be the only reason she's still alive.

"Rise and shine Meredith, I brought food for you if you're a good girl." Derek carefully locks the door behind him and puts down the bag he brought with him before approaching Meredith, reaching out to caress her hair, a smirk falling on his face when she flinches away from his touch. "I had a successful surgery today and want to celebrate that, do you think you can behave?"

"Yes Derek I'll be good, thank you for bringing food." Meredith tries to keep her voice steady while talking through clenched teeth while keeping her eyes aimed towards her lap, if he can't see the fear in her eyes in order to exploit it then she can pretend she's not afraid. "Would you like me to lay down?" She hates playing the role of submissive puppet, but if she has any chance of getting out of here alive she knows she needs to stay on his good side.

Derek laughs at the tears silently racing down her cheeks, harshly wiping them away, drunk on the power her forced submission gives him. "Such a good little slut, finally accepting your place. Lay down and spread your legs. Eyes on me, do not close them." He roughly pulled off the panties he allowed her to wear and shoved them in her mouth, harshly parting her lower lips while his eyes bore daggers into hers. "You like this don't you? Having all my attention on you? After growing up with a mom that barely noticed you and a dad that abandoned you it must be a nice change of pace. You don't have to worry, I will never abandon you. I will always come back to you Mer, you'll never be alone again." He said as he lined up with her entrance, forcing himself inside of her intently watching the tears slide down her face as she chokes on the panties. She starts to panic as the hold he has on her arms tighten and she begins to fight against him, doing the one thing she promised she wouldn't, she closes her eyes.

She feels a sharp pain in the side of her face followed by the panties being pulled out, but she doesn't open her eyes. She tries to remember the steps of an appendectomy to calm herself down, tries to remember what life was like before this room. She does her best to tune out the screaming, she lies there as he beats her, feeling the blood dripping down her face pretending it's happening to someone other than herself. She knows that once he's done he'll leave with the food he brought her, she hasn't eaten in days but right now she doesn't care. Right now she only cares about making it through this beating alive.

"I should have known that you would misbehave, you can never stay good for too long. You know food is earned and you have not earned it, but I won't be able to visit for a couple days and I prefer you be alive when I get back so you can still have it." Then he leaves, locking the door behind him. Meredith takes a moment to gather herself before making her way across the small room that has become her home to the food Derek left behind. She can tell that he broke a couple ribs when he was beating her but all that currently matters is that there is food. Despite her inability to follow Derek's rules he has chosen not to starve her, but why keep her alive?