Echoes of Resilience

43

It had been three days after the incident in the park and Meredith hadn't said a word. She picked at food and drank enough water to stay alive, only getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. Addison stayed with her, whispering soothing words as she blankly stared at the wall. The redhead was beyond worried, but all she could do was hold her and whisper promises that everything would be alright. Waking up in the middle of the night to Meredith's side of the bed empty and cold caused her heart to race, she got up and went out to the living room. The blonde was sitting on the floor in front of the couch clutching a bottle of tequila to her chest as she swayed back and forth.

"I see you found my tequila." Addison sat down next to Meredith, pulling her into her side. The blonde stared ahead of her, eyes focused on the wall and filled with an emptiness that made the redhead's blood run cold. "Please say something, I miss your voice." She pleaded as her voice cracked.

"You need more tequila." Meredith croaked in a quiet whisper. Addison smiled sadly and kissed the blonde's temple.

"Okay." Addison nodded. "How long have you been awake?"

"However long it takes to drink three quarters of a bottle of tequila." Meredith shrugged, taking another gulp from the bottle. "Want some?" She offered the bottle to Addison who accepted it, wincing as she took a small sip.

"Thank you." Addison coughed lightly as she handed the bottle back to Meredith.

"It's yours, you don't have to thank me." Meredith took another big sip. "I'm pretty sure I'm drunk, which is probably the only reason I'm even speaking. It's really hard to ignore you when you talk to me when I'm sober so I'm sure the alcohol makes it impossible."

"I'm just glad to hear your voice." Addison sighed. "You're freezing." She pulled a blanket off the couch and wrapped it around Meredith. "I would think with that much tequila you'd be sweating your ass off."

"This is how I used to drink, after a while I guess my body adjusted. I thought that not drinking for as long as I did would have lowered my tolerance and turned me into a lightweight, but clearly not." Meredith rambled as she chugged the remaining tequila, placing the now empty bottle on the floor.

"I'm going to get you some water and something to eat, you need to soak up some of that alcohol." Addison went to stand up, but Meredith's weak grip on her wrist stopped her.

"Don't leave me." Meredith looked up at her with desperate and vulnerable eyes. "Please."

"You're going to hate yourself in the morning." Addison sighed and wrapped her arms around Meredith, the blonde leaning into her.

"I always hate myself in the morning." Meredith chuckled dryly. "And in the afternoon. And in the evening. Oh and let's not forget the night. I hate myself all the time."

"Dr. Wyatt's ready to do a house call to check on you after you missed your appointment yesterday." Addison revealed, softly stroking Meredith's hair which was knotted and greasy.

"There's no point. If I'm not talking to you, does she really think I'll talk to her?" Meredith rolled her eyes. "You're my favorite person in this world and the one I trust more than anyone else. If you can't get me to talk, nothing can."

"You mean other than tequila?" Addison raises an eyebrow.

"I don't think if Cristina was here I'd talk to her, drunk or not. I'm only talking because it's you. Not talking to you has been killing me." Meredith's voice broke. "Maybe the tequila helped, but it's because it's you."

"If it's been so hard for you, why haven't you been talking to me?" Addison whispered.

"Because if I talked, I'd cry and I didn't want to cry." Meredith admitted as a heart wrenching sob escaped her. "Because if I start to cry, I'm afraid I'll never stop."