Echoes of Resilience

41

Meredith stared out the window of the passenger seat, absentmindedly picking at her fingernails while Addison drove them over to Cristina's apartment. The redhead sighed and gently pulled Meredith's hand into her own, feeling her heart break when the blonde pulled away.

"Mer, please just talk to me." Addison pleaded as she pulled over on the side of the road and turned to face Meredith who was stubbornly refusing to turn her gaze from the window.

"No." Meredith crossed her arms. "I don't want to talk, I just want to go stay with Cristina."

"For how long?" Addison's voice broke as she blinked her tears away.

"I don't know." Meredith whispered. "I need space."

"Okay." Addison nodded and started the car again, pulling back onto the road. When they got to Cristina's she walked Meredith up to the apartment and opened her arms with a weak smile. "Can I at least have a hug?"

"I guess." Meredith sighed and stepped into Addison's arms, trying and failing to not cry. "I'm sorry!"

"You don't have to be sorry, if you need space then I'll respect that, I'm just going to miss you." Addison kissed the top of her head.

"You don't hate me? Even after what I did?" Meredith pulled back with shock coloring her features.

"No." Addison shook her head. "I could never hate you. Do you still want to stay at Cristina's or do you want to go home and talk?"

"I want to talk to Cristina first, can you come back in an hour or two?" Meredith asked, anxiously biting her lip.

"Of course, you just call me when you're ready and I'll come pick you up." Addison smiled, gently freeing Meredith's lip from her teeth.

"Thank you." Meredith hugged Addison again before turning and knocking on Cristina's door.

"Hey Mer, I got the guest room ready for you." Cristina smiled when she opened the door and let the two in.

"I think I'm going to stay with Addie for now, but I still want to talk to you if that's okay." Meredith awkwardly shifted on her feet.

"Whatever you want to do is what I want." Cristina assured her.

"Call me when you're ready to come home." Addison kissed her forehead.

"I will." Meredith smiled and waved as Addison walked out the door. She dropped down on the couch with a heavy sigh.

"Okay, what the hell happened?" Cristina asked as she sat down next to Meredith.

"Typically this is the type of conversation where I would require tequila, but I haven't drank since the night I was kidnapped so I'm going to do my best to tell you while sober." Meredith rambled nervously.

"Okay." Cristina nodded. "I mean, I have tequila and you're in a safe place so it wouldn't be the worst thing if you did drink, but that's up to you."

"I kissed her." Meredith hid her face behind her hands, peeking out behind her fingers to see Cristina's shocked face. "Fuck it, give me a shot."

"Are you sure? This sounds like a conversation that should be had sober." Cristina asked.

"If I have to deal with your shocked reactions, I need alcohol." Meredith sighed. Cristina nodded and went in the kitchen, coming back with two shot glasses and a bottle of tequila, pouring two shots.

"Are you sure about this?" Cristina handed Meredith one of the shot glasses.

"Yes. Bottoms up bitch!" Meredith clinked her glass against Cristina's before downing the shot without even a wince. "Fuck, I missed that. I was scared that it would trigger me but honestly I feel good, I feel more normal."