Echoes of Resilience

29

Meredith woke up an hour later in Addison's lap, with Cristina and Arizona holding her hands. She blinked a couple of times to adjust to her surroundings before looking up to see Addison smiling at her. "Addie, please tell me it was just a bad dream," Meredith begged with a sniffle, her face full of hope that quickly turned to despair. Addison's smile became sad and sympathetic as she tenderly pushed Meredith's hair out of her face and leaned down to kiss her forehead, causing Meredith to break down into fresh tears. Cristina tightened her grip on Meredith's hand while Arizona gently rubbed the back of Meredith's other hand with her thumb. Soon, Meredith's sobs turned to hiccups and sniffles as Addison soothingly scratched her scalp.

"What happened? Why'd she have to go back to the hospital in the first place?" Meredith asked softly, her voice barely audible as she watched the other three exchange looks in a silent conversation. "Do not treat me like a broken doll. I know you guys know something."

"After you fell asleep, we decided to call Bailey back. We figured it would be best if we could answer any questions you had. Your mom was at the nursing home when the press conference interrupted whatever was on the TV at the time, and when she saw you talking, she had a heart attack," Arizona explained as gently as she could.

"Was she lucid?" Meredith's voice cracked as she forced the words out.

"She was. They think that hearing what you've gone through was just too much for her, but do not blame yourself, honey. None of this is your fault," Addison assured her.

"Do you want to watch a movie or play a game or something? Get your mind off everything?" Cristina offered with a hopeful smile. Meredith shook her head and started to stand up.

"I'm gonna go lay down. I just need some time to myself." Meredith walked to her room, softly closing the door behind her. She slid down to the floor and cried, her body shaking with the intensity of her emotions. She knew she didn't kill her mother, but she couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Ellis was never a mother to her, not in any way that really mattered, but she was all Meredith had. She could have given Meredith away, but she didn't. She was a horrible mother, but at least she stayed. That had to count for something, right?

Addison felt her heart clench as she heard the heartbreaking sobs coming from Meredith's room. Everything inside her told her to go comfort the blonde, but she wanted to respect her request for privacy. Cristina and Arizona watched her carefully, seeing the internal battle going on in Addison's head.

"How long do you think she'll last before she goes in there?" Cristina whispered, watching Addison's eyes stay glued on Meredith's bedroom door, her legs twitching as she fought to stay seated.

"Not long if Mer keeps crying like that. She wants to give her space, but Mer's cries are like a beacon. She can't ignore them for long," Arizona whispered back. Addison sighed and raised her eyebrow, turning to look at the two of them.

"You know I can hear you, right? Believe me, I want to run in there and scoop her up and tell her everything is going to be okay, but she asked for space. After everything she's been through, the least I can do is give her space when she asks for it. I'm just scared that she's going to regress and she'll be all alone," Addison said, her voice breaking. "Typically, she regresses to the mindset of a five-year-old since that's really when her trauma started, but when she gets upset like this, she tends to regress more to the mindset of a toddler. Am I doing the right thing by leaving her alone to sob when I know it's likely that she won't stay in an adult mindset for long?" Tears gathered in her eyes, but before they had the chance to fall, the three were startled by the sounds of things being thrown coming from Meredith's room, followed by the blonde screaming hoarsely. "Fuck giving her space, I'm going in there." Addison jumped to her feet and ran down the hall, opening the door to find Meredith on her knees surrounded by broken glass, blood dripping from her palm. She rushed over and scooped Meredith up, gently depositing her on the bed.