ache | lee felix

chapter 3 '✦ ˑ ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ coffee

"Agh, they put too much milk in mine," I said, stirring my mug of coffee.

"You're like a vampire, I will never understand people" Chan laughs.

I sit back in my chair after taking a sip of my milky coffee, looking up at the green vines woven between the pipes and ventilation of the coffee shop. Coffee Tree, I love this place. My favorite place to study, chill, read, write, and talk through all of my many emotions with Chan. I appreciate him, my older brother, only unrelated to me biologically. He's three years older than me, currently going to a music school close by to be a producer and audio engineer. He's the only one I've trusted with my secret, and the only one that will stand by me and listen as I fall deeper into insanity.

"So, how's college going? You're aging kinda poorly." I give a fake frown.

Chan gives me a mocking frown back, "Yeah and how's that driver's license coming?"

I drop my jaw and sit back up, "Well, very well, actually! I got my permit last Tuesday for your information!"

"Minho teaching you now?"

"Please, you know the boy would NEVER let me sit in the driver's seat."

"Yeah, haha, I knew that one," he stirs his coffee, "so I'm not gonna waste time because I know you weren't being honest when you said you needed help studying for your math test. We both know Lix has more math knowledge than the both of us combined. So, go on."

"No, I was being honest, I do need help studying" I persist, tugging at the sleeves of my black sweater.

"Yeah, you do. Just not from me."

"Chan," I sigh, "I don't know what to do." I rested my head on my palm looking at him as he traced lines on the wooden table with his finger.

"I don't think lying to your best friends about having a medical problem is a great solution," he presses his lips together and nods at me.

"Ugh, who told you?" I shut my eyes and shake my head.

"Both Minho and Lix. Minho is, well he's fine with it. It just came up when we were catching up yesterday. But, Lix called me, he didn't want to make it a thing. I think he just wanted to know how to handle it, and he's worried."

I nod.

"Stella, it's not nice to make your friends worry," he looks at me in the eye, "This isn't good for either of you."

I nod.

"I mean have you been focusing? How have you felt?"

"It's not getting any better," I look at him, "It's taking me forever to understand concepts, I'm not like this, and you know it. It's driving me insane, but at the same time, I allow myself to indulge in just this one thing. I can't stop what I feel. I just can't help myself. I don't know, maybe it's good for me. Maybe this will loosen me up, I'm so uptight all the time."

"No no Stella, you're just fine the way you are. I think we just need a distraction, or an outlet maybe. I get it, I've been absolutely consumed and blinded by love before, it's not easy."

I giggled, remembering all the therapy sessions we've had at this same coffee table about his first college girlfriend, "Yeah, I remember"

He rolls his eyes, continuing on, "Is there something you've wanted to do? I don't know anything like sports, dance, music? Or maybe there is someone else you think is cute in one of your classes?"

I look up, thinking, "No, I think the only other person made for me besides Lix is you. You're not on my roster though, don't worry." I pause and look back at him, "Lix and I were debating on taking either a songwriting or dance class together, but I don't think that would be much of a distraction if he's in it with me."

"Hmm, what about singing for you?" a smirk creeps on his face.

"What? Oh I don't know, I'm still shy about it. I don't think I can be open about it right now." I look down at my coffee and twist my silver ring around my finger.

"Well, I think you have a voice that should be heard, even if you're not ready to share it now, maybe we can work on something together to get your emotions out. We don't have to put it out or anything, maybe it's just a project to help you understand your sound and get you singing a bit more."

I look at him and press my lips together, thinking. A few months ago, I was home alone in the shower, just singing along to the songs on my shower playlist. I knew Chan was gonna stop by in about an hour after he finished classes for the day, so I hopped in the shower before he came over. He sent me a text saying that his last class got canceled so he was heading over early, but I was already in the shower so I didn't receive it. So I sang VERY loudly, not knowing he was here in my living room listening to me. I screamed when I saw him waiting for me outside the bathroom door, ever since then he's been begging me to go to the studio with him and track some vocals.

"I don't know, I'll consider it maybe" I look up from my coffee at Chan. He's smiling wide at me, and I press my lips together, "Yeah, okay. I think I'll give it a shot."

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Author's Note:

hello!! i hope you are having a beautiful day! short update today just to get more stuff uploaded on here. also trying to get a good amount of the story up before I hit exam season again </3. any feedback, comments, and votes are greatly appreciated! also, if anyone has any tips on how to promote/ get more reads, please let me know in the comments- im a bit clueless lol. 

question: how do you guys feel about little additions to the story, like linked playlists that fit the vibe of the chapter, or character mood pinterest boards? i have a ton that i gathered just to get into the atmosphere of the au when im writing and planning. so if that's something you're interested in lmk!!

have a wonderful day <3 <3

- L <3