ache | lee felix

chapter 11 '✦ ˑ ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ braids

From the mind of Felix Lee

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

I wake up to the sound of Minho's voice. "Get out!" he yells from the driver's seat. I feel cold.

I open my eyes to my empty lap. I frown and look at Ella to my right, who's placing her earbuds in her bag and unbuckling her seatbelt to get off. She looks like she got some rest, ends of her straight hair poking out of her unkept braids. Some color has returned to her skin and she looks more like herself, hopefully she isn't feeling bad anymore. I didn't even notice when she left my lap, I must have fallen asleep soon after she laid down in my lap. I regret that.

"Um, are you going to lower the seat?" She's looking at me.

I snap out of it. "Yeah, sorry." I reach below the seat in front of me to pull the lever, lowering the seat and allowing us to slip out of the very back seat.

"Thanks for the ride!" She yells to Minho behind me.

"See you guys tomorrow!" Jisung waves from the passenger seat before Minho takes off down the road and I'm left there standing next to Ella on her front lawn.

I purse my lips and look over at her, she's just awkwardly standing there, waiting for me to do something. It's dusk already, and we have school tomorrow. I know I should go home now, but my feet won't budge. I'm not sure why, but I just don't want to go home.

"Do you wanna come in?"

"Sure," I nod. I follow her in the house. We drag our duffle bags filled with our weekend clothes and get to her room. I plop down on the edge of her bed and let my torso fall back. I look up at the ceiling for a second before closing my eyes. Still drowsy from the car.

"Ella, are you feeling better?" I ask.

I can hear her sorting her clothes, unpacking and getting organized the second we get back. So Ella of her. "Yeah, I think I was just carsick. Always happens."

I roll to my side and look at her sideways, "Don't worry, I remember."

"Shut up," she smiles and throws a dirty sock at me.

"Ew!" I throw it back. She catches it and throws it in her bin before going back to sorting her clothes. I stay looking at her on my side. She's sitting on the floor with her legs crossed, in an old tattered sweatshirt we got from an amusement park trip when we were 12. It's cute that she still wears it. It's a shame I grew out of mine and gave it away, we could still match if I hadn't. If she weren't so sentimental, she would get rid of hers too. I'll get her a new one soon.

"You look better." I say.

She freezes for a second before continuing to sort her clothes, "Did I look bad? Like sickly?"

"No," I take a breath, "I can just.. see it on your face when you're not feeling good."

"Oh."

"You always look good."

She freezes again. But this time she glances down at what she has on and makes a confused face, "I look beat? I don't even have my makeup on."

"Yeah, but.. you still look good."

"Thanks." She says giving me a small smile before standing up and turning away from me to sort her school supplies on her desk.

Man, what am I saying? What am I even doing here? She probably wants me to leave, finals starting this week, we just had a long weekend. I should just leave and let her rest alone, she's probably sick of being around the boys and me.

I just feel so weird and I can't put my finger on it. I want to tell her how I feel, but I'm just confused. And that's exactly what I do when I'm confused about my feelings. I talk to Ella and she just, by some form of magic or force of nature, instantly has the right words to help me settle the discomfort and discord in my head. That's how we are, filling in the missing pieces of each other. I need to talk to her, but when she's the source of my confusion, it's impossible to. What am I going to say? "Hey Ella, I'm feeling really weird whenever I look at you, but I can't stop." I'm afraid I'm stuck. I can't take my eyes off of her, like my eyes are being pulled by some sort of force, drawing me to her every second. And I'm scared of what it's causing me to feel. This developing rush in my chest intensifies by the second. I don't feel bad, I know that. I just can't say precisely what it is.

I roll back to my back and close my eyes again, taking a deep breath in. Maybe I'll just sleep here, her bed is the comfiest. I wouldn't mind spending another night away from my place, maybe it'll help me sort this out in my head. Though mom would get mad at me since I've been gone all weekend already.

"It's getting kinda late," She says from her desk.

I knew it.

"We have finals this week," She walks over and sits next to me on the edge of the bed.

"You want me to go don't you." I look up at her.

She looks down at me, "I never want you to go."

There it goes again.

"But my test scores want you to," She ruffles my hair, messing it up even more than it already is.

"Why do you always have to do that? How would you like it if I did that to you, huh?" I whine and reach my arms up to her braids. I lightly tug at the little elastics that keep them together at the ends, pulling them off. What was left of her braids dispurses, leaving tangled waves.

"Hey!"

"Shhh, don't get mad," I say, running my fingers through her hair, separating some light knots gently, "it's not like you weren't going to take them out right now anyways." Her eyes move from her hair to my face below her. My heart beat intensifies. I have no words, but I should say something.

"Your hair has gotten so much longer, I didn't even realize."

"Yeah," She looks to her side at her hair while I still run my fingers through it, getting the last of the knots, "It's a bit of a pain to take care of, always getting knotted. I've been thinking about cutting it actually-"

"No." comes out of my mouth before I can even think. It came out like vomit, involuntarily, "I love your long hair. It's so pretty." The knots are well out by now, but I don't want to release my touch from her. I drop one hand, but keep one holding some of her ends between my fingers in the other. "When you're tired, I can help you with it," She returns her eyes to me, and my words taper off when our eyes meet, "like this."

Locked eyes with hers, I'm frozen like a statue. I wish I could stay here, not move a muscle for the rest of time. Laying in the perfect sight of her, just her. Right before me. It's all I want.

She has a soft expression on her face, not frowning or smiling. Just content, looking at my face, "I won't cut it then." She says softly.

I slowly raise my hand up in front of her, pinky extended, "Promise?" I whisper.

A small smile appears on her face as she hooks her pinky with mine, " I promise."

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Author's Note:

:3

(do u guys like these felix pov's?? i don't know how boys think. this is prob like reeaaalllyyyy inaccurate. like i really dont know. LOLLLL)

enjoy :) have a beautiful day <3

- l <3