ache | lee felix

chapter 13 '✦ ˑ ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ lunch

From the mind of Felix Lee

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

The moment I heard the school bell ring, I darted out of my seat, pulling my backpack onto my shoulder and planting my scantron and exam on the teachers desk to get out of the classroom as quickly as possible. Ella is spending lunch period in the library for her final next period so I took this day without her as an opportunity to flesh out my feelings with Hyunjin. Why not with Minho? I want to, but I'm worried he won't take me seriously. We are really close, and he's a great friend, it's just that I've never talked about anything this serious with him and... I'm worried he'll react like he did on Saturday. He's a guy, I can't blame him for acting the way he did, shit, I'd do the same if it were him in my position. But I want to be careful. And I need to sort out my feelings before letting them even get close to Ella. I'd rather protect her.

"Hey," Hyunjin catches me walking out of the classroom.

"Hey," I smile, as he walks up by my side. I didn't tell him why I wanted to talk alone with him today, just that I wanted to run a few ideas by him. Hyunjin is an introspective person, and more than anyone, besides Ella of course, he's understanding. The man is a walking love poem himself. He loves love. So I figured he'd have good advice based on the millions of love stories he's watched and read. Maybe one of them perfectly describes my situation and will have the perfect explanation. "Let's talk outside."

"Mhm." He nods and follows me outside to the bleachers.

We sit in silence facing each other for a few minutes. I take a few bites of my sandwich, but set it down in front of me and lean back on my hands. I just don't feel like eating right now.

"So," Hyunjin looks up from his bag of carrots, smacking his lips, "are you okay?"

I look down, "Yeah," He stays silent. I look up at his expression, and he's looking at me with one eyebrow raised.

He bursts into a little laugh, "Okay, what is it?"

I laugh a little too, but trail off "I don't know. I just feel weird." I pause there.

"When do you feel weird? What's causing it? I'm gonna need more than that."

I roll my eyes and sigh. Admitting it is the fastest way to get through it. I know that, it just feels shameful or embarrassing. "I.. I feel weird about Ella. It started on the drive back. I can't pinpoint why, or what it is. Maybe it's because I've been paying more attention to her and being more cautious with her since she got sick and it's getting to my head. Or maybe it was Jisung's comment. I don't know, I just feel nervous when I'm with her and I'm so much more aware of myself. It's not a bad feeling. It's just... off-putting. I don't know if I like it. But I need to figure it out, especially right now. I don't want to be caught up in my feelings when she needs me. And I don't want to be selfish, I need to be there to care for her."

I take a breath and finally look up at him after spilling my guts out. He has a super concerned look on his face and my stomach drops. Did I say something wrong? Does he know something I don't? His eyebrows are stitched together, a scared look in his eyes.

"What? What's wrong?"

He just looks at me with the same expression, "Stella is sick?"

"Oh shit," I cringe, "I wasn't supposed to tell anyone."

"It's fine I won't tell anyone, I'm just shocked I didn't know. Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's okay. But she is sick. She told Minho and I because we were nagging her about acting weird lately and pressuring her to tell us what's going on. She didn't specifically say what it was because it's... you know..."