ache | lee felix

chapter 1 '✦ ˑ ִֶָ 𓂃⊹ problems

I can't stop asking myself why I'm here

I put myself in this position

I put myself in this pain

I put myself in this excitement?

I put myself in this rush

I'm running out of time

I don't want to let this opportunity go by

I don't want to live the rest of my life like this

It's all on me to make it what I want

It's all on me to make it

It's all on me

It's all right in front of me

It's me

It's me

It's

"Stella." Felix calls out from behind me.

I shake my head, letting my sleek dark brown hair slip out of its flimsy claw clip. I was so lost in thought, I didn't realize our lesson was over and my classmates had already begun to flow out of the classroom to enjoy their lunch period around campus. I quickly shove my notebook and pen into my backpack, hurrying out to meet up with Felix and Minho- God knows they don't give a shit about waiting for me if it means cutting down their lunch time. Standing up with my backpack slung on one shoulder I quickly pulled out my phone to snap a photo of the notes I missed and quickly hurried out of the now empty classroom.

It's getting bad. I shake my head at myself, I don't even realize. I never ever let anything get in the way of my focus during school. Sure I'll let myself slip in other things, but this is not something I can just brush off.

Shit this is a lot. I zoom in on the lesson, realizing my textbook and the teacher's barely legible scribbles may not be enough to salvage my grade in Friday's test. I'll see what I can do.

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"Ya Stella," Minho calls out as I run out to the school parking lot. His arm hangs from the window of the driver's seat, all ready to go with Felix on his side, "what's wrong with you?"

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry," I quickly slide into the backseat and plant myself in the middle, "I had to take a picture of the lesson." I quickly pull my plaid uniform skirt down, and iron out my dress shirt. Minho always reminds me of how much of a mess I am whenever he opens his mouth, even if the comment isn't directly about it, it's now an instinct.

"Ella, you don't have to worry about that," Felix turns his torso around to look at me from the passenger seat, his stupid blonde bangs partially blocking my view of his big brown eyes. He's the only one that can make them work, but I always curse them for constantly obscuring my view. Minho pushes his head down onto the glove compartment to see through the rear window as he backs out of the parking space. Felix smiles, holding back a giggle and looking at me sideways, "I'll catch you up on the lesson later."

And it hits me again. For this, I can allow myself to slip up.

"Thank you, lix," I smile and ruffle his hair.

His smile falls, and he gently grabs my hand from his head, "But you gotta tell me what's going on with you. It's getting Ow-"

"She's fine, Lix," Minho swats his head with one hand, "Probably just a boy problem." Felix sits back up, his smirk growing, "I know girls, besides Stella, are foreign to you, Lix, but they are entirely different creatures when it comes to courting."

"It is NOT a boy problem, and okay, ew. I would never 'court' someone," I nervously swallow hard. Suddenly my necklace feels tighter than usual, "I don't-"

"Okay, so there is a problem though," Minho raises an eyebrow at me through the rear view mirror.

I look down at my hands in my lap, I can feel Felix's eyes on me, turned around, examining my reaction to the exchange, "No," I sigh, "I just-"

"No problems, you just have a crush-" Minho chuckles.

"No! And how would you know how girls act when they like a boy, huh? It's not like you're experienced"

"You're not denying it,"

"Minho I already told you no, it's not a boy problem,"

"Sooooo," Felix puckers his lips.

I let out a loud sigh and lean back on the seat, letting my head fall back, "it's," I pause, this is probably the only way to get him to stop, "it's just girl problems."

"Yeah, sounds to me like you're a girl that has problems with a boy."

I open my eyes, looking up, "Oh my God."

Minho put the car in park as we reached the grocery store and turned to the backseat, parallel to Felix.

"Minho," I came close to his face, "Woman. Problems."

Felix places a hand on his shoulder, as a message to back off.

"Oh, oh! Okay okay" Minho looks at Felix, readjusting himself, "Um, I uh,"

"Are you okay?" Felix asks.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you. It really is fine, and you guys do not have to worry, it's my problem, which is why I didn't talk about it with you guys because I didn't think you'd understand, but I'm okay so you don't have to worry and you can please stop asking me about it now, and please don't mention it to anyone because it's a little uncoto talk about in front of other people. Okay, great, good, done!" I offer them two thumbs up. I'm pleading, begging this shuts them up.

The boys give me awkward smiles and laughs.

I don't know why I lied. I could never lie to these two. But I'm so desperate for a reason, and I think I just need something to blame. This may make it harder for me, but I need something to blame for the way I'm feeling, even if it's not real.

"Okay, can we get our sushi? Please?"

The boys nod and quickly get out of the car.

Minho comes close to my side as we walk towards the entrance, "Are you, you know?"

"MINHO!" I yell. The boy jumps and backs away from my side.

Felix laughs, shoving him aside and linking his arm with mine to lead me ahead of him, "I'm thinking salmon today, what do you think?" He forces a smile. 

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Author's Note: 

hello everyone!!!! thank you so much for reading my first chapter ever!!! i've been writing for fun for years, but never considered posting anything until now. this is a fun little project im doing on my free time and to get away from school and work. i'm not sure how often i'll update, but i think posting will help me write faster lol. no mature content in my writing, just a bit of cursing and all the yearning. leave a comment! give me feedback! i hope u have a beautiful day <3

- L <3