Stolen Love

Chapter Four

Ashton

For a relentless ten minutes, I underwent a barrage of attacks to the ribs until the door burst open, and the boys quickly rushed in to save me. Despite my battered and bloodied state, I couldn't deny that I definitely had it coming, and they were soon going to become aware of it.

My ribs throbbed from Jarrod's forceful blows, and while I was grateful, he only struck my face once; my entire body still ached from the beating. It seemed likely that a few of my ribs were broken. It didn't matter at this point.

This was going to be a very long day, I
thought as Jarrod stood there, fuming, while
the others inquired about the incident.

Joe and Brett positioned themselves
between me and the angered Jarrod, trying to
ease the tension.

"What happened, buddy?" Clint asked, arms
extended, eagerly awaiting an explanation from either of us.

Jarrod fought back tears, avoiding eye contact with any of us as he looked towards the hotel
room door.

Clint approached, offering me some paper
towels as I sat there slumped against the wall, feeling defeated.

"What were you thinking, man?" Jarrod asked in a lowered voice. He was hurt that I could even do such a thing.

"What did you do?" Clint inquired softly, trying his best not to show me his pitiful expression from my bloodied nose.

I stared at the ceiling, tears welling up from the overwhelming pain I caused my wife. It all
seemed unreal. If only I had stayed home with Mia. None of this would've happened.

As they exchanged concerned glances amongst each other, Jarrod allowed me a chance to speak to explain myself before he did, but I just couldn't tell them.

I had my own uncertainties. Had I been date-raped? Could that even happen to someone my size? I'm six foot four and a burly football player! What exactly occurred? And most importantly, why couldn't I remember anything that happened besides waking up next to her?

Jarrod wiped his bloodied hand over his face and let out a deep sigh, sounding shattered as
he held back tears.

"Why, Ash? Why the fuck would you do something like that?"

In response to his question and the flood of emotions within me, I shook my head, holding back the tears.

"Because I'm a scumbag!" I yelled.

Jarrod collapsed against the wall, sinking down with his head still in his hand, sobbing as if he had suffered a great loss. He did. His best friend betrayed everyone's trust.

"You're a fucking idiot," he muttered.

We remained in complete silence for twenty
minutes as Clint, Joe, and Brett gave us some
space settling onto the suede love seat.

I struggled to pull myself up, wrapping my
arms around my knees and intertwining my
fingers to keep my legs from giving way. I was
desperate to speak up, but the shame was
overwhelming.

"I-" I couldn't say it. It just didn't feel right to
say Mia's name and the word cheat in the same sentence or to even admit that I'd been drugged by a woman. It didn't sound real.

Clint, Joe, and Brett's expressions indicated
their anger towards me. When they realised what I had done. During high school, we made a pact, the five of us. Promising each other that we wouldn't conform to the negative stereotypes associated with football players. We wouldn't cheat and we wouldn't be players.

However, I managed to fuck that up in one night. The choices I made that night led me to
being disloyal, which also led me to being shunned by my closest friends. As I sat there full of remorse and regret, I realized that they no longer held any sympathy for me. I deserved it.

Their resentment and fury were palpable as all four of them left me sitting up against the wall, shaking their heads in disappointment, leaving me feeling more alone than ever before. No more words were said as they formed a line, following one after the other until they were out of sight. The sound of the hotel door slamming, and the heavy silence had me sobbing my heart out.

I was broken.

*********************************

I couldn't bring myself to share how I really felt with anyone due to the overwhelming shame.
Neither could I tell my wife that I couldn't
recall what really happened. I was desperate for her to stay. Knowing she wouldn't scared me out of my mind.

The words coming out of my mouth were complete and utter nonsense. I was rambling because I knew she wouldn't stay. I know it's too late, but I'm more than ready to open up to her now.

My mind is in a state where I've accepted my wrongdoings and taken responsibility for all of them instead of running. This was going to play heavily on my mental health if I didn't get it out of my system.

My own mother had depression so bad because of her mental health, so it was genetic. It ran in the family. I would let my emotions get the better of me, I was weak to my own mind. I knew I was. If I wasn't the happy go lucky guy that I have always been one traumatic event like this would end me. I just knew it.

How do I reach out when I am too ashamed? How do I admit that this was something I couldn't stop! Would anyone believe me over this woman? Would I be mocked?

My football career didn't mean shit to me if Mia wasn't around anymore. Nothing meant shit. My marriage was already plastered on news articles and online. I was trolled by countless women worldwide for my actions.

But would they understand? No one would understand. They'd all think that I was lying because how? How can I, someone of this stature, not be able to fend off a woman of her size?

They already said it was my fault. They don't know me at all, but they were quick to judge me based on what they heard. There was no coming back from this.

Mia would believe them, too.