Honey and Scars

Honeybees

⚠️Self harm. Fighting.⚠️

A few days had gone by, and I saw scarce of Matteo. I was momentarily focused on a book I had taken quite an interest in, when Matteo walked up to me. Why must I always be interrupted when I'm reading? He had sweat dripping down his forehead, and his shirt was nowhere to be seen. I would be lying if I said I didn't think he looked extremely attractive. I was sat by the picnic table, when he spoke; staring down at me.

"Hey. Your parents have disappeared, possibly going shopping, but I'm in need of assistance." He said, his eyes staring down at me, as he wiped the sweat off his forehead.

I put the bookmark in my book, and closed it placing it down in my lap. I wasn't exactly sure what to say, so I looked up at him for a moment, before averting eye contact.

"With what?" Is all I asked, trying to converse as little as possible.

"Well I'm meant to collect honey from the bees today, but I can't because I don't know where the suits are, and I'm certainly not going to extract honey without one." He said, his voice quite stern, yet calm and kind.

I sighed, placed my book on the table and stood up.

"Oh, I see." I said, walking past him towards one of the many large sheds on our property. "Come with me."

He followed me towards the shed, and I think I saw him nod but I wasn't exactly looking at him.

When I reached the shed, I opened the large wooden door, and peaked inside. "Uh, yeah. There's some suits in there. Choose anyone you'd uhm, like." I said, feeling like a complete idiot as I stuttered, and quickly backed away.

"Thanks, Hannah. Right?" He questioned, trying to make eye contact with me, as he leaned against the shed doorframe.

I nodded, looking down at the ground. "Yeah. Uhm let me know if you need anything else." I said, beginning to walk away. Let's just say, I am not experienced with the male species. God, I'm such an idiot. I have the equivalent of one friend, and social conversations are definitely not my strong point.

He coughed a bit. "Uh, alright cool." I heard him say, as I walked back towards the table. I heard some clanging and rustling around, as he looked for what I assumed was the suit.

I sat down, grabbing my book and continuing to read. It was one of my many escapes from the world, and my never ending thoughts. It was awfully hard to focus, when images of shirtless Matteo ran through my mind. Fuck, fuck, fuck why must a boy have such an effect on me? I don't even like him. In fact, I cannot like him. Ever. I won't. I can't. Right?

Dinner was awfully awkward this particular night, because my parents were arguing. The whole.entire.time. This resulted in awkward glances shared between Matteo and I, and multiple apologetic looks on my face. Why must they argue?

"Will you save this till after dinner please?" I spoke up quietly, crossing my arms.

My father looked at me, his face red and angry as it usually was when he fought with my mother. "This is absolutely none of your concern whether we have a conversation. Leave if it upsets you. You do not have to stay, Hannah." He said, fuming, and continuing to yell slurrs at my mother.

I stood up, my chair falling over behind me, making an awful loud thud on the ground. "I will! Perhaps you could spare Matteo such a displeasure though, if you won't for me!" I yelled, running upstairs. I was acting like a child, but I absolutely hated when they acted like this, especially with others.

I stormed into my room, slamming the door behind me. I hate that every time i'm upset, I cant help but self harm. It makes me feel better. I don't  know why, but it does. I sat on my bed, as tears begin to stream down my face. I open my drawer on my bedside table, as I crossed my legs, before grabbing the small pocket knife placed in the wooden drawer. "I hate you, I fucking hate you." I say, more to myself than the anger I felt towards my parents.

I take no wait, before I press the blade into my skin, on spots not yet scarred. I breathe in, holding my breath as I cut a deep engraving, tears pouring out of my eyes. I'm quick to begin making a few more incisions when I hear a knock on the door.

"I don't want to talk!" I yell out, holding back my sobs. I know it's my mother coming to check on me like she always does.

"I understand. I thought I should come make sure you're okay. Your parents kept yelling, and I felt like I was intruding, so I left."

My heart begins to race as I hear Matteo's voice through the door.

"I'm sorry. Really I'm fine." I say sniffling, as blood begins to pour down my wrist.

"It's alright. Are you sure?" He asks. His voice kind, and soft.

I cant help but sob, quite loudly at that. I burried my face into my hands, ever so slightly muffling the sound of my cried. I know he can hear, but I still hope he'll go away. "Please, go." I sobbed out, my words shaky.

He however instead of leaving, did the complete opposite and opened the door. "I know I'm stepping over boundaries, and we barely know each other, but you're crying and I can't leave you here alone." He said, as he walked over to my bed.

I was mortally embarrassed, and I continued to cry. "No.. please. I-" I said, but sobbed loudly, my words breaking. I knew he saw the knife, and my wrist. Nobody ever knew, and I needed help. Not from him, it couldn't be from him.

I heard him gasp, and I rose my head. My face was red, and covered with tears. He stood above me, as he kneeled down in front of me. "I'm not exactly sure what's going on.. but please don't hurt yourself." He said softly, taking the knife away slowly.

I sniffled, tears pouring down my face. I let him take the knife, as I sat there embarrassed, and sobbing. Out of anyone I know I never thought a farmhand would be here for me when I needed it most.

Hey loves! I'm so sorry this was such a short chapter! I'm working on making my chapters much longer! I know it was intense... but it's only getting better!! What do we think???? Okay! Working on the next chapter now.. let me know! Ily!❤️❤️