Honey and Scars

Tears

My birthday is tomorrow. The closer it gets, the more nervous I get. Matteo is still gone on his 'trip' which makes me wonder when, and if he'll ever come back. I really miss him. It's only been a few days, and I need him now more than ever.

I've reread each letter at least ten times, and as many times as I read them I can't seem to get enough.

It was early morning and I had woken up from a nightmare again. I decided to take the letters back to Matteo's room because I had no hope of falling back asleep.

I tiptoed down the stairs, careful not to wake Petunia.

When I entered Matteo's room I could have sworn I saw a body sleeping in his bed, but when I switched the light onI found it was just my brain playing cruel tricks on me.  

I shivered and closed the door before returning the letters to their prior spot on his bookshelf. It was like putting away a piece of me.

I turned around and sat myself on his floor next to a pile of clothes. I picked up a black shirt and held it close to me as I inhaled. His smell invaded my lungs nearly knocking the air out of my chest.

Tears immediately flooded my eyes and I hugged my knees to my chest. I miss him, and it hurts because I don't know where he is. The fact he left without saying goodbye hurts even more. What an asshole.

My sobs filled the room and the floor creaked beneath my rocking. My heart broke into a million pieces, and I swear it was going to shatter out of my aching chest.

Come back Matteo.

I need you.

I love you.

Please.

I just want you to hold me and tell me that everything is okay.

I woke up to the sun shining through the window, and aching muscles. I had fallen asleep on his floor, and his shirt was held close to my body.

I panicked and got up. If my parents saw me come out of his room they would have far too many questions, and I certainly didn't want to deal with that.

I looked around the edge of the stairs into the dining room and walked further up the stairs when I saw it was empty.

I quickly ran up to my room and closed the door quietly behind me. I crawled back into my bed and sighed. I don't feel myself without Matteo following behind me.

The telephone rung and I ran downstairs to answer it, knowing nobody was home.

"Han!" I heard Victorias voice yell from the other line as I answered.

I sighed and laughed a bit at her enthusiasm. "Hey Vic." I responded.

"Wanna go swimming at the creek? It's so hot, and I'm so bored." She said whining as she spoke.

Did I? Nope. Was I going to anyway? Absolutely.

"Yeah sure. I've nothing better to do anyway." I replied and looked at the clock on the wall which read 1:24.

"Yay! Meet you there in fifteen minutes?" She checked, her voice light and giddy.

"Sure." I said and placed the phone down.

If I couldn't have Matteo, I might as well hangout with my best friend.

I sat by the creek as Victoria ran up behind me. I stood up and hugged her as she smiled.

"Ready to swim?" She asked, pulling away and undressing.

I nodded.

I was already in my bathing suit, so I dove into the cool water of the creek.