Honey and Scars

A bath

Warning: sexual references.

"Stop, please stop!"

Matteo embraced me. "Sh. He didn't mean it."

My father's yells reverberated throughout the house.

Stop... make it stop. It hurts. Make it stop!

I jolted up, shaking and breathing heavy. The sun was just barely shining through my windows, and I could hear the sound of gravel crunching beneath what I think was a car pulling into the driveway. We got home late last night, and Petunia had already made dinner. We told her we got caught up in traffic, to which she told us everything was fine and brought dinner back out. I went to bed with thoughts of Matteo racing throughout my head... thoughts of the day we had shared.

I stretched and then got up to look out the window. It was my parents. They're a day early. I threw on some clothes and ran downstairs. Matteo and Petunia were standing by the door.

"Good morning. Your parents are back early deary." Petunia said and smiled warmly.

"Oh yes. I see that." I agreed but I wasn't looking at her, instead my gaze was focused on Matteo who was standing there so... calmly. His hair was a tad messed up, and he had a smirk on his tan face, as he too was looking at me.

I was about to say good morning to Matteo when my parents opened the door carrying a load of luggage.

Matteo rushed to help them carry stuff in as Petunia grabbed what little stuff she could. She was older, and definitely was not capable of carrying what Matteo could.

When my parents came in my mother hugged me, and my father just stood there. He wasn't the kind of man to hug anyone. Not even my mother. Never the less, he meant well. Mostly.

Matteo glanced at me and I tried my best to hide the smile forming on my lips.

"We missed you darling. Hope everything was well?" My mother said, then looked at my father.

I nodded and pulled away from the hug. "Mhm. Ya everything went well." I told her. Which is true... right?

We sat outside at the picnic table. My mother and father talked aimlessly, and I peeled at an orange. Matteo was sitting back drinking an espresso martini. Dinners outside were always my favorite.

"Hannah. Summer is ending soon. You're going to get to studying more intently right?" My father asked me from across the table as he poured a rather large cup of wine.

I sighed and then looked at Matteo. Why did I look at him? I've not a clue. "Yes. I will. I always do." I voiced out quietly.

"Good. You've only less than a year till we start looking for collages." He told me as if I already didn't know.

My mother chimed in. "Oh yes, Harvard by chance? It seems like a lovely school there in the Americas. I'm sure you'll like it." She said wiping the side of her mouth with a a napkin.

"Yeah. I'm sure I will. But we don't know if I'm going there do we? I have some time before I even start applying." I told them.

Matteo shifted in his seat almost awkwardly.

"Yes, we are aware of that dear, but it's never too late to start looking is it?" My mother said, and my father nodded beside her.

"I guess." I sighed, and stood up. "Dinner was great, but I'm tired. I think I'm going to sleep now." I told them and pushed my chair in.

"Alright. Rest well!" I heard my mother's voice say as I walked off.

For some reason I almost hoped Matteo would follow me. Why would he? Up to my room? There wouldn't be a reason he should, but I can't help but wish he would.

I went up the stairs to my room and took a nightgown from my drawer. I needed a bath. I went to the bathroom down the hall and closed the door behind me. I turned the tap on and closed the drain. I felt like taking a hot bath tonight. I never allow myself such comfort, and even though I know I'll never stop hating myself, Matteo helped me see a bit more clearly how much my parents affect me.

I undressed and got into the bath. I lit a candle and laid back. I sulked back into my bath as thoughts of Matteo raced across my mind. His hair, his lips, his body, him... he's so kind. So gentle. So loving. Fuck, I want him near me. So, so badly. I slid down the bath and dunked my head under the water. I held myself under for quite some time before coming up. My chest rose up and down, and visions of Matteo wouldn't leave my mind. I traced my hand across my chest, and imagined they were Matteo's. I traced my hand up my neck, and back down in between my breasts, and down my stomach. He's so attractive. He's so fucking kind to me. He called me beautiful. I want him so badly. I continued trailing my hand down till I got to the now aching spot in between my legs. I jumped as I heard a knock on the door. I retracted my hand away quickly.

"Who is it?" I asked, my breathing a tad labored.

"Matteo. I'm sorry to disturb you, your mother sent me up to tell you they just got a call and have to leave again tonight. Something about property investment." I heard Matteo's voice say through the door.

Oh great. They're never here longer than a few days are they? "Alright. Thanks.."

I stood up out of the bath and went to grab a towel which wasn't there. Fuck..  I didn't know what to do; and Matteo was right there. It's fine. I can't stand here naked all night can I?

"Matteo! Could you grab me a towel from the hall closet?" I asked as I walked up to the door. I'm naked, and he's just on the other side... god that's hot. I've never been touched, but I certainly wouldn't mind if he were the first to. My god, that's unholy. I've got to stop. I never ever do anything like... what I just did. Let alone think such thoughts.

I heard him cough. "Oh, uh yeah." He said as I heard a door open.

I waited by the bathroom door as I shivered from the cold air of the bathroom.

He knocked on the door. "I have your towel Hannah."

The way my name rolls off his tongue is so fucking addicting.

I opened the door and stuck my hand out. I breathed in sharply as I felt his hand against mine. I took the towel, and when I did he kept his hand on mine. It took so much of me not to open the door and crash my lips on his. I want to be kissed by him so bad. Why do I feel this way about him? Its weird. I hate it. He probably doesn't feel the same. I'm seen as a helpless, broken girl to him. Nothing more. Right?

"Thanks Matteo.." I said quietly and took my hand away slowly.

"Anything for you, darling." He said and I heard his footsteps retract away and down the stairs.

Darling? Oh bloody hell. The things that does to me. Anything for you? He knows what he's doing. It's so wrong, yet it feels so right.