Honey and Scars

Safe

He put the knife in his pocket, and took my hands carefully. "Hannah, I'm.. why do you do this?" He asked ever so quietly as if he was afraid I'd cry more if he spoke loud.

The warmth of his hands calmed me, and I sniffled. "I'm...not sure. It seems to be the only option to sooth my self hatred." I responded, my voice breaking as I spoke, as tears poured down my red cheeks. I kept my head down trying to avoid eye contact.

One of his hands left mine, as he reached up wiping my tears with his thumb. Such kindness from basically a stranger was so odd, and yet I felt safer with him in this moment than ever with anyone before.

"I'm so sorry. You don't deserve that. For any reason." He said, licking his bottom lip, his brows furrowed. He looked as if he too felt what I did, and I looked at him only for a moment just enough to see a tear had formed in his eye. Why? I've not a clue, but it was compassionate and kind, and it only made me cry harder.

I knew I deserved it, but never the less his words were kinder and sweeter than most I've heard. I sobbed so loudly I'm sure my parents could hear. He stood up, wrapping his arms around my neck.

I threw my arms around his waist, and cried into his shirt, as his hands rubbed my head softly. "Shh, it's okay. Just cry." He voiced out softly, swaying back and forth.

My sobs were muffled by his shirt, as I clung onto him. I hadn't had a hug in so long, and this felt so strange, so calming. We stayed like that for quite some time before he knelt back down, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "Look. It's late, you should rest. I can stay on the floor if you don't want to be alone, or I can leave. I don't mind." He said, looking up at me with his soft kind eyes.

I wanted him to stay. So, so badly. In fact, I needed him to stay, I couldn't be alone. Not now. "Can you stay?" I asked quietly; too tired to say anything else. Finally I looked at him, making eye contact.

He'd nod, and wipe my tears once again. "Alright." He said softly, and pulled my head down, into his shoulder hugging me once more. "It's okay, Hannah." He assured quietly.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, returning his hug, tears still rolling down my cheeks. After a moment, he pulled away and stood up.

"Let's get you into some pjs and cleaned up okay?" He said softly, walking over to my dresser.

I nodded, and wiped my tears while looking over at him. "A t shirt and shorts is fine." I said quietly when I saw him open a drawer.

He pulled out a black t shirt, and a pair of red sleeping shorts. He walked back over, handed them to me and smiled down softly, as I was still sat on the bed. I sniffled and took them.

"Thank you... Matteo..." I said softly, biting my bottom lip that was quivering.

"Of course, Hannah." He turned on his heel, and began walking towards the door. "You change, and then come to the bathroom so we can clean you up okay?" He said, opening my door.

I didn't feel as if words were necessary, so I just simply nodded.

Once he had left, I stood up and began to slowly undress. I was shaken, and confused. I wasn't sure why he was being so kind, or why I have such a strange feeling of comfort with someone I only met a few short days ago. He was so kind. The type of kind you only find in certain people. The type of kind I'd never experienced before.

My clothes fell to the floor, and I slipped on my shorts and shirt. I put my hair up in a loose bun, before making my way towards the door, and opening it slowly. I couldn't help but wonder why he'd want to help me. I mean, to him I was his employers daughter, whom was kept away and enjoyed reading. But, to me he was a kind soul, and quite possibly a soul mate? No, that's too far. Just... a kind soul.

I made my way towards the bathroom, looking down the stairs as I passed by. Downstairs was dark, and I assumed my parents had already gone to bed. When I entered the bathroom the light was on and Matteo stood there running a white hand towel under the hot water of the tap.

He looked over at me when I walked in, a soft compassionate smile shone across his tan face. "Let me help you." He said quietly, taking the arm I had previously cut.

I nodded, hesitantly letting him take my arm. Blood stained my skin, and scars and recent cuts embalmed my wrist, leaving white marks.

He gently rubbed over each new incision with the towel making sure to not hurt me anymore than I already was. I winced a bit, not so much from the pain, but from the sudden action.

The blood transferred to the white towel, as you could eventually see my fresh scars. They were deep... really fucking deep. He sighed, and his eyes lowered. He rinsed the towel off, and threw it into a hamper in the corner of the bathroom.

"Better?" He asked softly, his voice soothing and low.

I nodded. "Yeah..thank you." I said quietly, and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was in a messy bun, and my face was red and puffy. I averted my gaze before I had time to criticize myself, and looked at the ground.

"Let's go to sleep, and we can talk in the morning." He said, and I nodded.

We made our way back towards my bedroom, and as we entered he closed the door behind him. I crawled into my cold covers, shivering. I threw him a pillow and a blanket, before I turned off the lamp, and dunked down into my covers.

I heard what I'm guessing was the undoing of Matteo's belt, but I was too tired to pay attention. Before I knew it I was asleep. And for once in quite sometime I felt safe. Actually safe.

Oh my gosh. Okay, I know I know I went from past to present in the writing. I honestly don't know what is going on, but l promiseee I'm gonna fix it! I'll keep with the past, I know it's awfully confusing. Anyway, that chapter was intense... ✨🫶🏼