Honey and Scars

The pool

I want to go to Yale. Or Harvard. I want to do something with my life. I want to become an accomplished writer, or major in something that when I die people will look back on my life and not think I've wasted it. Microbiologist? Or doctor? No, maybe I'll just sit at this vineyard all my life, and never accomplish anything. Either way, I need to be everything my parents expected me to be. I cannot disappoint them.

It was hot today. Hot and fucking humid. Oh, and did I mention hot? Great day to go for a swim. Except for the fact that I don't own anything to swim in that wouldn't leave me half exposed. But I suppose nobody crosses by the pool. Except for mother and father of course, and they wouldn't at this time of day. Matteo is gone to town... I think. And it's bloody hot, so why keep inside?

I went through my drawer and eventually found a swim suit after what felt like hours of looking. It was a bright blue string bikini, with accents of gold and small white flowers. I dressed, then for safe measures put on a long t shirt just in case anyone was wandering around. I took a towel from the hall closet on the way out, and grabbed an apple from the counter. The pool was located on the south end of the house. Bushery and trees surrounded the patio, so to see anyone swimming you'd need to have a pair of binoculars, or enter around the back of the house. Nobody went back there, unless of course they needed tools from the shed, or to pick apples, or vegetables from the garden. Anyway, my whole point being I should be safe from eyes. I hope..

I placed my stuff down, took a bite of my apple, quickly took my shirt off and jumped into the pool. I shivered. The cool water was relaxing, soothing, comforting. I've always liked cold showers, cold water, cold anything really. Warmth feels too comfortable, it's the comfort I don't allow my self to have. Simply because I don't deserve it. I surfaced, gasping as I breathed in the summer air. I stood, brushing my hair back with my hands. I went in for another dive, took a few laps, and then got out. I took the towel and dried myself before laying down in the chair. I was pale and it was no secret that I needed sun. It didn't matter thought. I never showed my body. I adjusted myself and closed my eyes, letting the sun hit my body and hopefully give me some color. No seriously, I was ghostly pale. The sun felt nice... I hate it. I hate feeling warmth, I hate feeling happy. I ran my hands down my body, letting the droplets of water transfer to my hands. I looked over, finding a book on the side table. I took it, and opened it. "Moby Dick." Oh, how boring. Better than nothing I suppose.

Matteo's POV.

It was hot outside this particular afternoon, and I as usual spent it working on the Barlows orchard. I had been digging a few trenches when the shovel broke, which sent me to the back shed to retrieve another. Ever since the interaction Hannah and I had shared a few nights ago, I've tried to keep my distance. For her sake, not mine. I walked around the back, wiping the sweat off my forehead with my t shirt when I was stopped by the sight of Hannah sunbathing and reading a book. My mouth most definitely hung agape. She looked beautiful. Her long red hair, and that beautiful blue bikini complimenting all her beautiful features. She was breathtaking. I was quickly pulled out of my trance when I heard her scream.

"Oh my!" She yelled as she scurried to cover herself with her towel.

I quickly looked away. "I apologize, I wasn't aware you were back here.

I snuck a quick glance, and couldn't help but smile when I saw her red cheeks.

"It's alright.." she said quietly. "Stay turned around. Let me get a shirt on." She demanded awkwardly.

I did just as she said, and heard the ruffle of clothing. It's a shame she's putting clothes on. That's a horrible thought. I can't be thinking such things.

"Okay, you can turn back around." I heard her say.

And oh when I did, let me tell you I almost passed out. There she stood, flushed, her hair a mess, and a T-shirt that hung a bit above her knees. I looked her up and down, and then at her. Straight into her eyes. After the moment we shared that night things felt different. She was so broken, so hurt, so sad. I must admit, ever since the day I'd met her I'd always thought she was beautiful, but that night brought feelings of affection I didn't know I had.

"I- uhm. Sorry." She stuttered out quietly.

"Sorry? For what?" I questioned, crossing my arms.

"Oh, I don't know.. uhm, anyway. Do you need something?" She asked, a slight edge in her voice.

"Just a shovel from the back shed.." I replied, giving her another full body look. I can't help myself.

She must have noticed because she quirked a brow and pulled her shirt down more. "Oh, okay. Then go ahead and get it, I'll uhm leave." She said and quickly gathered her stuff.

I nodded and made my way over to the shed. "Hannah." I said and turned back around to face her.

She stopped and had a questioning look on her face. "Yes?"

"About the other night. If anything like that ever.. what I mean to say is, if you ever feel like you are going to harm yourself again you can always come to me." I know my words probably didn't mean much. I'm only a farmhand. She probably has others that are there for her. Or maybe not.. the way she clung to me didn't seem very promising that she had anyone.

She sighed, and I swear I could see an inkling of a smile begin to creep its way onto her beautifully freckled face. "Thank you, Matteo.." is all she said before hustling off into the back door.

Well that was fucking awkward. And now, I'm even more obsessed. Obsessed? Oh no, I'm not obsessed.

Hello! I currently don't have many reads, but it really helps if you leave a star or a comment!! Anyway, I know it's quite slow burn, but don't you even worry. I have plans.🤭 alright my loves. Take care!❤️❤️