Ophelia Mikaelson (Poly Mikaelsons)

Chapter 21 - An Ultimatum

"Her hand hasn't formed properly, because of my chemotherapy," I worry in Cami's arms and she comforts me beautifully.

"Fia, everything will be okay-"

"No it won't," I dismiss her even more. "I hurt my own baby, what sort of mother am I?"

I fall apart every time I think about it. I hurt her. She was my hope and I've damaged my own child.

I cry all night. I cry all day. There's no end. I hate myself for crying as much as I do. It's pathetic.

At least the doctor has stopped the chemo for now, he says it's shrunk the tumours as much as possible. We're waiting on my sweet girl to be born before we operate, potentially leaving me unable to carry children.

Again.

I fucked up when I used that dark spell, but with a little babe in my womb I can't bring myself to fully regret it. I love her so much. I just wish it was me that had to sacrifice a hand, not her.

We all spoke at length with the doctor about it. The fact he wasn't too concerned really made me feel a lot better. He spoke about how healthy she is otherwise and that she will never know any different. He encouraged the use of a prosthetic later on, a suggestion we happily took on board.

He also directed me to a company that sells beautiful wigs because I expressed my discomfort at people seeing my hair loss as I recover. My family ensured I got only the best, it is comfortable and so beautiful on me.

I'm always put together. I absolutely hate feeling and looking like crap. While I was on chemo I didn't care but now I'm a little stronger, I need to feel like myself again.

"I'm sure they all blame me," I confess to Cami. "My family are the worst at throwing around blame, I'm sure they hate me for damaging our child."

"They all adore you," she says ever so gently. "They may speak in anger but I don't believe any of them truly believe that."

I sniffle just as my son walks in unexpectedly.

"Mom!" He smiles, "I heard you were discharged, why didn't you let me see you?"

Cami disappears off to her kitchen to give us some time alone. I greet Marcellus with a long hug, appreciating that he's healthy so much more now.

"Are you in remission?" He pulls back to ask eagerly waiting on some positive news.

"Not fully," I reveal and his face drops. "Although my tumours have shrunk by 60%."

"That's great," he latched onto the piece of hope I've given him.

"They will operate once I have delivered this little girl," I tell him biting my lip. "It might have to be a total hysterectomy."

"Your whole womb?"

"Maybe," I utter feeling so downcast about it all.

Marcellus gives me another hug that truly makes me feel a lot better.

"You have one baby of your own," he glances down at my growing bump.

"Two," I correct him and he smiles.

"Yes," he affirms happily. "I know you want more but I'll be pleased to keep more of your attention."

I laugh out loud, he's still such a child at heart and I love him for it.

"Marcellus," I change my tone of voice immediately, wanting to deliver the news of the baby's malformation before he finds out from Cami.

He quirks an eyebrow and waits for me to continue, listening to my racing heart beat.