Rebound

3 ⚠️

⚠️Sensitive Content in this chapter. Content includes strong language and topics of suicide and death. Please read with caution.⚠️
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I went straight back to the Gentian house and hid away. I didn't even bother getting my back checked out from that whip I took. I didn't want anyone knowing these things about me and now the secret is out. I was angry. As for Lan Xichen, he had the nerve to thank me for stopping that whip when he is the damn sect leader. He could have stopped it himself but he didn't. Some brother he is. My impression of him right now is not that great.

I didn't realize that I was so upset that resentment was starting to flow from my body. Just like before, I was hearing voices and hallucinating. Those voices were telling me that I was a mistake. Telling me I should have died so no one would be bothered by me.

"Shut up!" I yelled.

Young Master, you were the one who lost control. You were the one who got his shijie killed.

"Shut up!" I yelled again.

"Wei Ying?" I heard Lan Zhan call for me from outside.

"Go away!" I yelled, "I don't want to hurt you." Lan Zhan came in anyway, "did you not hear me? Go away!"

"No," he said, "you need me. Let me help you."

"I don't want your help!" I said loudly, "your stupid songs don't work on me."

"Maybe, but it helps soothe the resentment. Please let me help you," he begged.

"Go away!" I yelled.

"Wangji?" I heard Lan Xichen say not far from here and he ran inside, "Wei Gongzi, you need to calm down."

"And why should I?" I asked, "I am like this because of you people! I stepped in to help Lan Zhan. You are his brother and sect leader. You could have stopped that whipping! I am acting out because I spoke of things I never wished to reveal. Now that you know, you will all treat me differently!"

"No we won't," Lan Zhan said.

"I want to leave," I told him, "I stayed and I waited. Keep A'Yuan safe and I will disappear! I am tired of being everyone's toy!"

"Please don't leave," Lan Zhan begged.

"You can't force me to stay here," I told him, "I said I would try to stay but I cannot keep being here. I need to be on my own. I will hurt people less if I am on my own."

"Yet you are hurting me!" Lan Zhan told me.

"Like you haven't hurt me!" I yelled back. Lan Zhan froze in his spot. I continued to speak, "I tried being friends with you long ago, but you couldn't stand me and pushed me away. The moment I went missing your opinion of me changed? No! It didn't. Then when I stopped using my sword, all you did was beg me to come here. For all I know, I thought you'd have me punished for using an unorthodox method that I had no choice but to use. Everyone tried to get answers from me or said terrible things about me! What I wanted most was for someone to tell me that I was going to be okay and that I was accepted somewhere!" I choked on some sobs as I continued to talk, "the only people who ever tried were the Dafan Wens and you people got them all killed because you thought they were an army! You came to the mounds and so did Jiang Cheng. You both knew that they were not cultivators but you never stood up for them because you didn't want to be shunned like me!"

Lan Zhan was still silent. I had so much pain and resentment that I just spilled monologue after monologue, "why didn't you help me if you loved me?" I asked.

Lan Xichen looked at his brother and then me, "What?"

"Your brother told me that he loves me but he didn't help me when I needed him most," I said, "why didn't you help me? I thought you were a righteous person and you didn't take sides. I thought out of everyone, you would understand. Everything I said to Jin Guangshan that day, do you believe any of it?"

"I do," he said.

"Did you know about the Wens I took in?" I asked.

"I had suspicions," Lan Xichen said.

"You let my family die because you couldn't look further into it," I said as tears fell, "I left the Jiang Sect because Jiang Cheng wouldn't help me. I couldn't go to my Shijie's wedding and I was ambushed on the way to her son's party. I never even got a chance to meet him. I even watched her die before my eyes. She took a sword that was meant for me. She died and I can never repay her for it. I have nothing left. So tell me, why should I stay when I don't even feel welcome here?"

It seemed that Lan Zhan was having hard time finding words to say. I scoffed as I figured it would be his response. I turned to leave to a different room when all of a sudden I was quickly turned around and shoved into the wall behind me. I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off by another set of lips, very strong lips.

Those lips felt so familiar. It was like I had a taste of them before. I remember that day like it was yesterday. Just like now, I was shoved into something and my lips were connected with someone else's. Just like now, those lips were trembling but didn't ease up once. I found myself melting into them. It was Lan Zhan who kissed me that day. It was all too familiar for me not to realize it. Just like before he bit down on my bottom lip before he pulled away.

I stared at Lan Zhan. I was a bit speechless at the moment. He seemed to have figured that out too and even threw me a sly grin. My mouth dropped open at the sight. I then looked at Lan Xichen who happened to still be in the room. He just cleared his throat and looked away with a smile on his face.

I sighed, but then smiled and began to tease Lan Zhan, "Lan Zhan, those movements were very familiar," I said. Lan Zhan's smile faltered, "and those lips of yours, I swear I tasted them before."

Lan Zhan cleared his throat, "yes it was me, alright."

I laughed, "congratulations, you took my first kiss back then."

"What?" He asked, "you said you were experienced."

"Only a stick in the mud like you would believe that," I said, "do you really think I am the type of person that goes around kissing people?"

Lan Zhan sighed, "You will pay for that one day."

"Sure," I said and looked at Lan Xichen, "you're welcome for the show I guess."

"It seemed to have helped the resentment go away," Xichen said and shrugged as if he didn't mind at all.

I nodded.

"Wei Ying, what you told us outside will not be told to anyone else. Shufu and Xiongzhang and I already talked about that. We are not going to let this get out. It is your choice for that," Lan Zhan said, "we are just respecting it."

I nodded, "I am sorry for my outburst."

"You are still carrying a lot of resentful energy. Anything could trigger you," Xichen said, "we will try to be better about it too."

"Thank you," I said.