Rebound

9

When we arrived at Baoshan's she took A'Yuan for a little while so I could talk to Lan Zhan alone. I wanted to talk to him about what happened but Baoshan thought it would be good to talk without a kid present. She had a beautiful backyard so they just want there while I dragged Lan Zhan to my personal room.

"We should talk," I said.

"You need to tell me what is going on in your head," Lan Zhan said a bit angrily.

I sighed, "I get your upset with me but you have to understand that I couldn't stay there. As you saw, your brother clearly doesn't want me there. Which reminds me, did you mean it when you said you wouldn't marry that woman or did you say it because I was there?"

"I meant it," Lan Zhan said, "I will not go back to my old sect where you are not welcome. My brother isn't my brother. Shufu may not have said much but by looking at him, he felt conflicted. Xichen told someone that you are still alive and he broke a big rule of the sect. He is not a righteous person anymore. I also told you I would follow you anywhere."

"I don't want to be the reason you are divided with your family," I said as tears began to form, "I was already in that situation once and I paid the price of that eventually."

"Something happened to you during the ambush of Lotus Pier. Thee is something that you are not telling me," he said.

"Want to know what I went through, how about I show you?" I asked.

"Show me?" He asked.

"I will let you run empathy on me and you will see everything's it will be up to you on how you view me after," I said.

"Show me," he said.

"Let's go," I said and went outside to talk to Baoshan, "Wai Po, is there a safe place for me to do empathy for Lan Zhan?"

"I have something better, but either way you will experience it whether you use empathy or my method," Baoshan said.

"Is it safe?" I asked.

"It's safer than empathy," she said, "A'Yuan, why don't you come with us. Are you tired? You are still recovering."

"A little bit," he said.

So Baoshan and I put A'Yuan down to rest and then she took us to a big room. There was a large crystal blue pond in the center, "once you go in, you will slip into a deep sleep and then a large water mirror will appear above you. We will see everything from the beginning of your life up until recently. You will look at it as if it's all a dream."

"But it's real," I said.

"Yes," she said.

I nodded and went into the center of the pond. I felt tired and I could feel myself floating in the water and slip into a deep sleep as Baoshan said. I didn't expect to see everything, and I mean everything. The time I was with my parents to my time alone on the streets to moving into the Jiang sect...everything. When certain moments came up I began to feel tears falling even though I was asleep. I watched as I was being beaten and humiliated by Madam Yu all for Wang Lingjiao's amusement.

I felt the pain again from the core transfer and the moment I fell into the mounds. The moment I took control of the resentful energy for the first time to creating Chenqing and the Yin Hu Fu. Lan Zhan and Baoshan were seeing it all. Seeing it all again just reminded me of my failures and pain. I gasped seeing Shijie take that sword for me again and then losing the last bit of sanity I had left to kill the man that did it, destroy my amulet and jump from that cliff. I survived and I still have to fight for my life because I am considered a fugitive.

I woke up crying and crawled out of the water. I felt something warm drape over my shoulders. I saw it was Lan Zhan's new outer robe that Baoshan gave him. He too was crying along with Baoshan.

"You are innocent," Baoshan said, "the things that you did are the things a righteous cultivator would do. Your parents would be proud of you...no matter how the world viewed you, you kept fighting, and you nearly died several times. That man that currently has your core, you need it back from him. He needs to learn what you endured for his sake as he took the final blow to kill you."

"If you have a way to take it back, I will allow it. I may have gone through extreme pain but he doesn't deserve it since he didn't stand up for me. He was supposed to be my brother but he chose his image instead. Seeing it all over again...it only makes me want to get vengeance more," I explained.

"You will get it, and I will go get your core back," Baoshan said, "for now, you should rest. You went through an ordeal seeing all of that again...and that moment with Wangji meeting A'Yuan for the first time, it was quite entertaining."

I giggled and looked at Lan Zhan. He was silent but I felt he wanted to speak alone. He looked hurt. More so than ever. He also looked angry. Lan Zhan took me back to my room and I changed into dry clothes before sitting beside him on my bed, "I hope you won't treat me any differently after seeing all that," I said.

I was suddenly pulled into a nearly bone crushing hung, "I am so sorry!" He said. He was crying. Why was he apologizing when he didn't do anything wrong.

"What for? You didn't do anything wrong?" I asked.

"But I did," he said, "I tried to get you to come back to Gusu to protect you but you saw it as me wanting to punish you. I didn't realize that you endured all that. So much abuse and you kept it to yourself. Why?"

"It's how it's always been," I said, "I never felt that need to voice out anything because I would just get ignored anyway."

"Not anymore," Lan Zhan said sitting up and held my face, "never again."

"Lan Zhan," I whispered and lightly wiped the tears from his face, "it's in the past."

"But you are still presently dealing with it," he said and rested his forehead to mind, "promise me you will try to come to me from now on. Let me help you, let me be your anchor."

"I promise to try," I said.

Just then, his lips lightly pressed against mine. This wasn't like the other few times we kissed. This was gentler and had more care and passion to it. I could feel his love push over to me. I found myself wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. How could I have possibly walked away from him when I could feel just how much he loves and cares for me.