Ex's and Why's | hyunsung

F I V E

Chapter 5: It's Okay Not To Be Okay

Despite that they hated disobeying Chan. They didn't keep Chan's word at all. As soon as he left, they barely glanced at each other before going back to the studio. They didn't talk at all and it continued that way, only if they were forced to have a conversation then they would acknowledge the other person but other than that, there was nothing that progressed their relationship.

It was then a disaster struck.

They were having their monthly dinner in a Chinese restaurant near their dorm. Everything was going well, even if Hyunjin and Jisung didn't acknowledge each other unless spoke directly with. It was still peaceful.

Well, until Minho brought up inviting them on a movie night.

Jisung exclaimed at that invitation, "Hyung got tired of me! He's replacing me!" He dramatically cried out, his hand over his eyes as he fake-cries. Minho rolled his eyes although a small smile played on his lips.

He flicks Jisung's forehead, eliciting an 'Ow!' before he proceeds to speak, "I am not, you dummy. I just wanted to make them jealous of how much fun we are having." He says sarcastically. Jisung narrows his eyes, "Did you know Jisung knows so many movies that he memorizes them all and mumbles it to himself, thinking I don't hear it."

"Hyung!" He attacks Minho with a chopstick before settling down quickly when he gets threatened that he'll poke his eyes out. "You promised that you won't tell anyone that!"

Minho grinned evilly, "He most memorizes romantic movies." Jisung turned red in embarrassment as he was teased about his interest in romantic movies. Not knowing that there is another person who is watching the scene with his heart being silently wrecked.

"It's not my fault that someone..." His eyes glided towards Hyunjin, "...loves romantic movies more than me and watched them endlessly..." He looked away, laughing with a bit of sadness mingled within that goes unnoticed by the members.

"Looks like someone you fancy!" Changbin teased, poking Jisung's cheeks. "Who's the lucky one, huh?!" Jisung poked out his tongue, stating that he'll never tell them.

"But, I do miss having movie marathons," Jisung said when everything has been settled down. "Used to have movie nights where we just keep flicking through different romantic movies even if they're disgustingly in love or it was so cheesy that we could puke. Even if it goes on and on... Nights spent like that are always different."

Seungmin gags, "That was cheesy too. Just say you love Minho and go!" It was as if an arrow went through Hyunjin's heart, an ugly twist in his stomach that he couldn't make out as to why.

He hates how familiar this feeling is.

"But, I'm married to you Seungmin-ah!" Minho leans in, "Come here!" Seungmin shrieks, moving as far as he can to hide behind Hyunjin's tall figure, cradling himself on the end of the seat.

"Divorced! We are divorced!" Seungmin shouts, kicking Minho as another chaos unfolds on the table. Hyunjin tunes out all the noises around him as he turns to his side, making eye contact with Jisung. There was sadness in Jisung's eyes and no hint of anger at all.

This made Hyunjin feel more pain more than ever.

As soon as they got home, Hyunjin bee-lined towards his room, locking it behind. He slides down to the floor, staring mindlessly in front of him.

He doesn't know what to feel after that. It was as if everything was a blur when he met Jisung's eyes. He knew full well that he was referring to him. No one other than him.

Someone knocked on the door, breaking his line of thoughts. "Hyunjin?" It was Seungmin calling out, "Can I come inside?" He sighed, standing up to open the door. He was met with soft eyes filled with concern and worry.

"What's up?" He tries to smile but the facade that he was going for was not keeping up with the way that Seungmin scans him.

"What's going on, Hyunjin?" Hyunjin crumples in front of him, breaking down into the only person that he can trust. Seungmin catches him, pushing the door close and guiding them to the bed, he wraps his arms around Hyunjin. "Are you alright?"

"What do you think?" Hyunjin sniffles, "I'm sorry. I'm just being dumb." His heart yearns for that love from the past, before it all went wrong. He craves to go back to the past when he was the happiest person alive.

"That's not being dumb. If it troubles you, it's never going to be a dumb thing." Seungmin scolded lightly while letting Hyunjin fall to his lap, crying and crying until there were only hiccups and sniffles.

"I- The talk earlier just... It just brought up some memories in my- my relationship before." Seungmin cards his fingers through Hyunjin's hair. "We were still so young and so... so stupid!" He bitterly laughs, his chest aching that he can't help but let out a whimper.

"Did remembering hurt?"

Hyunjin closed his eyes, "The memories don't hurt... It shouldn't... shouldn't hurt. Right?" He wipes his tears with the back of his hand, "I was the happiest when I was with him. What hurts was remembering that I... I lost it all and that... that it ended... what ended between us..."

"Loving hurts sometimes." Seungmin murmurs.

"It does, doesn't it?" He curls in on himself. "Loving him hurts, even now." Seungmin hummed, patting Hyunjin in a rhythm. They stayed in silence until Hyunjin finally felt like he let out enough tears.

"It was our thing." He broke the silence, "That's what brought me the memories. Talking about movies."

"Were there more bad memories than good?" Hyunjin chuckles, shaking his head to disagree.

"That's the worst thing. Everything was good. Every memory was the best when I was with him. That's why I- I don't know what happened... What changed between us to have a fucking break up... That's what the most painful memory of him and it overwritten every single good one."

Seungmin stayed still, "But what's hurting you the most is that you miss the good memories?"

"Yeah."

"You still love him?"

Hyunjin opened his eyes and stared right in front of him. Does he still love him? His mind vividly remembers Minho and Jisung, his heart clenching again. "I don't know. Maybe, I still do... Maybe, there is still that love lingering..." He remembers the hatred and anger in Jisung's eyes when they met again, "Though, I bet it's all gone by now."

Seungmin couldn't help but question, "Why do you think so?"

Hyunjin lets another set of tears fall. "We ended on bad terms besides... He's in love with someone else." The conversation ended there, leaving Seungmin to comfort him in the silence of the room. Questioning him will only make it all worse, it will only bring him more painful memories as he weeps everything in the past.