Black as Coal | ✓

16

*Make sure you read chapter 15 first!*

I always found it a little amusing how when we were younger, we thought we had the whole world figured out—or at least I thought so. I thought I understood it all: pack life, gamma duties, and mates. Especially mates.

See, mates weren't a topic discussed in my family very often. My parents, on the rare occasions I actually spoke to them, flat-out ignored the topic altogether. My grandparents told me the basics of mates but never went further than that. They didn't have to though, because, to my young mind, I had already known everything there was to know about the mate bond and how it worked. Clearly, fate had proved me wrong.

If there was one lesson that had been pounded into my skull recently, it was that life was prone to throwing out surprises. I'd always been a person who preferred to have some semblance of control, but I realized early on that I'd have to adapt if I planned to survive.

Even now I still feel that way. Sure, I wasn't in the woods anymore, but that didn't mean I was in the clear. Especially not with Cronan.

It had been two, almost three, hours since he left me alone in "my" room. I hadn't seen him since. I could tell by the faint sound of footsteps that he was still inside though. I did try to stay out of his way at first because I knew this was just as much, if not more, of a change for him as it was for me but I knew I couldn't continue hiding when hunger kicked in.

I ventured out of the room and toward the kitchen. I could tell before I even entered that Cronan was near. He was sitting in the living room and when I entered, his eyes shot to mine.

"I came for food," I said, feeling the need to explain myself even though he hadn't spoken. Cronan nodded and turned away, making me frown. Before I could stop myself, I asked, "Is every day going to be like this?"

He spun back around. "Like what?"

"Us existing in the same place, but not talking to each other," I elaborated. "I ask because if we're going to get anywhere with our bond then we do have to somewhat talk to each other."

Cronan's face dropped and for a second, I thought I had gone too far until he sighed and said, "What do you want to talk about Fen?"

I grabbed a muffin from the pantry. "I wanna get to know you better. There are some things I already know, but we never really got that far when we first met."

Cronan studied me for a moment and then shrugged. "There's not much to tell. I grew up in a pack not too far from here, left when I got older, and came here. I've been here ever since."

"Did you like pack life?" I asked him.

A bitter smile broke out on his face. "I'm here. What does that tell you?"

I paused, considering his words. "It tells me you had a reason to leave, but it doesn't tell me what that reason was."

Cronan's eyes darkened, and he looked away. "There were... issues," he said curtly. "It's not something I like to talk about."

I took a bite of the muffin, chewing thoughtfully. "Okay, fair enough. We don't have to talk about that if you don't want to."

He glanced at me, seemingly surprised by my understanding. "What about you, Fen? What's your story?"

He seemed to ask halfheartedly. I didn't know how much he knew—or rather, thought he knew—about me, so I decided to start from the beginning.

I leaned against the counter. "I grew up in a pack with my grandparents when I was younger. I moved to the Silver Night after I was asked to be a gamma. It was a good life for the most part."

"That's where you met Eli," Cronan added and I nodded.

"I knew Eli before I officially transferred though. I would spend my summers in the pack with him."

I missed those days. I missed being able to spend the whole day outside with him without a care in the world.

"Have you ever thought about going back to your first pack? The one before you transferred."

It had crossed my mind when I originally left the Silver Night, but the truth of the matter was that there wasn't anything left for me there. My grandparents were dead and I barely knew any of the people there now. Not to mention, they likely were alerted the moment I left the Silver Night and probably wouldn't have let me in.

"I did, but it wouldn't have made a difference. There was nothing there for me," I explained. "What's wrong?"

There was a deep frown on his face and I couldn't tell if it was from something I did or not.

"Nothing." he shook his head. "Did you have any friends? Besides Eli, I mean."

"A few. I've always preferred to keep to myself, but I got along fairly well with my former alpha and the other gamma."

I wouldn't have necessarily said Nolan and I were friends, but that's what he considered us. Atlas, on the other hand, I did consider a friend at one point. Even though I didn't like Nixon, Atlas didn't let that stop him from getting to know me. He was a funny and relaxed person who didn't stick his nose into other people's business—my type of person.

When I glanced back at Cronan, he was staring at me with the same frown from before and an intense look in his eyes. He opened his mouth, closed it, shook his head, and said, "I need to use the bathroom."

He stood up and walked away, leaving me alone to wonder what just happened.