Between Forever and Nothing

Chapter 11

Chapter 11: "We all have that man you avoid talking to, but still wish he would text you once. That man you have to make yourself not think about, but always wonder if he's thinking about you."

"I'm thinking of going to my doctor.

Natigilan ako sa narinig. Papunta na ako sa Mitigate bar ng dumating siya. Gusto kong umiwas kase pakiramdam ko ay nawawalan na ako ng kontrol sa emosyon ko. His presence always brings chaos to my heart and mind. Gusto ko munang dumistansiya sa kanya pero alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ko naman siya matitiis.

"Anong sinabi nina Tita?" mahinang tanong ko.

He shook his head. "I feel like they're keeping something from me."

I knew this was bound to happen the moment he had those flashes of Bianca. DJ is too smart to be deceived. 

I was never in favor of his family's decision to keep his real condition from him, as I believe it wasn't fair for him. Nobody deserves to live in the dark. Pero bakit ngayon na malapit na niyang malaman ang totoo ay gusto ko siyang pigilan?

"Is it because of that g-girl? Iniisip mo ba talaga na may m-malalim siyang connection sa'yo?"

"Honestly? I don't know," he responded, sighing. "I'm so confused."

Bitterness started to consume me. Despite his condition, Bianca still managed to have an impact on his life. She may have been erased from his mind, but not from his heart. 

Bianca didn't think twice of hurting and leaving him for her dream. She didn't even come back for him when he had an accident and was fighting for his life. Pero nakakatawa na siya pa rin ang panalo sa puso ni DJ. Ang unfair naman yata masyado ng mundo. 

"Cassie,"

I turned my head to face him.

"What do you think? Should I consult with my doctor?"

"Why are you asking me?"

He looked into my eyes. "Your opinion matters to me."

Ilang sandali akong natigilan. Does my opinion really matter to him? One look into his eyes, and I knew he was telling the truth. 

I swallowed hard. "I think... You shouldn't." I raised my chin. "I believe things happen for a reason. The same way we lose some people because they bring toxicity into our lives. So, whoever she is... Maybe, you don't remember her because your life is better without her."

I don't need a lot of things

I can get by with nothing

With all the blessings life can bring

I've always needed something

But I've got all I want

When it comes to loving you

You're my only reason

You're my only truth

I went to Mitigate bar, thinking it could clear my head. Singing has always given me solace whenever things become too much. But I guess tonight, clarity would be impossible to achieve as the source of my confusion was sitting right in front of me.

You're the love that rescues me

When the cold winter rage

And it's so amazing