Have you ever asked someone what love is? - Azriel x OC

Part 7

"and so the dinosaur said goodnight to the little boy, and both of them went to sleep, dreaming of flying bananas and mooing cats" Cas giggled at the story book I was reading from, my eyes drooping with each second.

"another!" he demanded and I shook my head.

"it's bedtime for all the little boys now" he whined, crossing his arms with an angry frown and I rubbed my face.

"I don't want to go to bed"

"why don't we do the counting sheep game" I suggested and he threw the book off the bed. I moved off the bed, picking it up and turning to him with a stern look, "Cas, we don't throw things"

He spent the next hour avoiding sleep and slowly driving me insane. By the time he tired himself out with screaming I was exhausted, physically and mentally.

My breath shuddered as I shut the balcony doors behind me, collapsing into the beanbag only to burst out in tears, sobs wracking my body. My fingers dug into the sides of my face as I tried to pull myself together.

Mum made it look so easy when he was a kid, although he was barely a few months old when she left so I guess tantrums weren't really a thing yet.

I wrapped my arms around myself, staring up at the stars. The familiar ache returned, and I sighed to myself.

"Why did you have to leave" I murmured into the darkness, searching the sky for an answer I knew I'd never get.

"you need rest"

"I'm fine Madja, promise" I smiled up at her from where I stood restocking boxes.

"Maybe I should take Cas for a week, give you some time to yourself" my heart thudded at the thought of Cas not being with me "He'll be fine" she assured, placing a wrinkled hand on my arm, her eyes reading my face like a book.

"I don't know, it's a lot. He's becoming grumpy" Madja smiled, reassuring me again that she could handle things.

"I'll go pack him a bag, and I'll pick him up after school. I'll give him back to you this time next week"

"Madja-"

"it's decided" her tone was stern, and I didn't argue as she walked up the stairs.

As much as I was worried, I was also incredibly helpful for her help. I loved Cas to bits but these last few days he'd really been pushing my buttons.

"Penny for your thoughts" my head snapped up to see Mor leaning against the counter to my right, watching me.

"hey, I wasn't expecting you" the smile that lit my face was genuine "what can I get you?"

"well, I was promised a strong coffee morning" her shoes clacked against the floor and I caught the look of surprise as Rose came through the door. I hired Rose a few months ago to help run the shop when Cas was sick, and she's stayed ever since. The irony of her name being Rose whilst didn't escape me. She was also great with everyone.

"Hey Rose, do you mind covering the shop for me the rest of the day?"

"yeah sure, no problem" she nodded as she pulled on her apron. "need me to lock up?"

"If you wouldn't mind" I handed her the keys, grabbing a bottle of wine from the gift shelf and putting it in my shoulder bag. "let's go"

"I like your style" she linked her arm through mine and we began walking through Velaris, up to the top of a hill I was familiar with. It was nothing special but it gave a great view of the city.

"I forgot to pick up glasses" I realised as we sat, uncorking the wine with a little magic.

"I don't think we're beyond sharing the bottle" she smirked, taking it from me and taking a long swig before handing it back.

I copied the action, cheap wine tainting my tongue and I winced slightly.

"Cauldron I haven't had wine in ages" I groaned, and the blonde chuckled.

"Since when?" I blew the air from my cheeks as I thought back.

"Probably before Cas was born, a good few years"

"wow, now that's dedication"

We sat on the hill, talking, getting drunk. Whatever you want to call it.

Mor was funny, a little crude but funny.

She told me about the others, how idiotic and childish the boys could be. About her and Feyre's book club. How they were all a little terrified of Amren at times.

I told her about Cas, our life at Dawn, before he was born. About how happy we were, before the time under the mountain.

"I can still remember when Rhys contacted us." She remorse, eyes somewhere in the distance. "The feeling of helplessness" I shifted closer to her, placing my hand on hers solemnly. "I had never been so grateful to see his stupid face when he came home"

"He's back now. That's all that matters" I felt the words in my throat. That was all that mattered. That people came out of it alive.

"I'm sorry, I didn't even consider-" she stopped herself, turning to me "did you lose anyone?"

My face twitched at the scabbing wound in my chest.

"Our parents. Once Cas was born, they went to help" a bitter smile ghosted my lips "when people started coming back to Dawn, I waited for them but" I shook my head, Mor squeezed my hand as I wiped my face, feeling the anchor of emotions weigh heavy in my chest "at least we won. In a selfish sense of the word"

"Cheers to that" she muttered, a fresh bottle appearing in her hand "we deserve the good stuff. Just don't tell Rhys" she joked, opening it and handing it to me.

"We'll cheers on his behalf then, to him and Feyre" I raised the bottle.

"to everyone we lost, and everyone we found" she added and I smiled, lifting the bottle to my lips and recoiling instantly as she laughed.

"Oh this is going to go well"