Sunday Morning
1 Day Before The Hunger Games
Years of solitude.
Years of discipline.
Years of seclusion.
A lifetime of being kept from other children, of being kept from any real friendships, of being kept from a real life.
All to prevent the irreversible mistake that she so carelessly made the night before.
Liville thought she was going to die.
That was how painfully guilt stabbed into her heart.
She swore she was going to drop down dead. And part of her thought that would be so, so much easier.
Her actions shattered her.
She spent the night weeping.
Not weeping in the way she had two nights prior, when she grieved losing her relationship with Coriolanus.
No, it was different now. She was flooded with pure shame. Pure self hatred. Pure fear.
Fear because this was to come out somehow. Surely, surely it would come out.
Eventually, everyone would know that Liville kissed Coriolanus.
Liville, Sejanus's betrothed, kissed Corioalnus, Sejanus's his best friend.
Just the thought of it caused her to take in gasps of air, her eyes stinging, her face red.
Her mother would find out.
There was no possible way she wouldn't.
Her mother would find out she kissed another man.
The man she told Liville to never speak to again.
Another sharp breath. Liville had barely woken up, but she already felt like she'd collapse again.
She was Sejanus's woman. She had been since she was eight years old. For her whole life, for the rest of her life, he was to be the only man she existed for.
He was to be her husband. She was to be his wife.
And now, for the rest of her existence, this would haunt her.
She covered her face with her pillow, crying into it.
She ruined everything. She ruined her life.
Her mother would find out.
Sejanus would find out.
He'd hate her. He surely would. And if he tossed her away, she'd be abandoned by her family, she'd be shunned from her home, she'd be alone forever.
If he didn't toss her away, if his parents forced the marriage to continue, he'd still hate her.
He would find out, somehow, someway. And Liville was racked with terror, because Sejanus would be able to take his anger out on her however he wanted, and there was nothing she could do about it.
She was stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
All her life she'd kept herself away from others.
Only to make that sacrifice meaningless in one stupid moment.
She'd tried. She'd tried to stay away.
She should've tried harder.
She should've been mean to him. She should've told him she hated him. She should've made him despise her.
