The Waters - A Beta Squad Story (bxb)

37. Choice Of Control

(TW - emetephobia)

In the room at the end of the stairs, Niko and Aj were spending the night in Niko's room, the oldest being too afraid to be alone or in his own room. The night was still young, and despite their exhaustion from the long day, they found themselves unable to sleep. The air in the room felt charged with an electricity that neither of them could quite explain. They lay in Niko's large bed, although their bodies pressed together in a way that was both familiar and comforting. Aj's head rested on Niko's chest, his arm thrown over his waist, while Niko's hand idly ran through his curly hair.

"Aje, do you want to tell me about what Kenny's dad said to you earlier?" Niko asks softly, his heart aching for his best friend. He knows that Aj has been carrying this around with him through dinner, and he wants nothing more than to understand.

Aj hesitates, his cheek pressed against Niko's chest. "Well, he told me, I reminded him of Kenny when he was younger... and how he 'trained' Kenny out of being homosexual. He said that he's worried that I'll try to do something to undo his work." He pauses, taking a deep breath before continuing. "And apparently I'm diseased, disgusting, a lovely slur, and a disgrace to my family, oh, and he said my mother regrets the day I was born and hates to know what i have grown up to be. Ironic really." Despite the careless act, Niko could tell Aj wasn't taking it well from his shaking hands and distant look.

"Oh, Aje... I'm so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine how that must feel," Niko murmurs, his heart aching for his friend. He sits up slightly to look down at Aj. "You know that's not true, right? You're perfect just the way you are. And so is Kenny. And even if Umar doesn't understand, that doesn't make it any less true." He reaches out, cupping Aj's face in his hand. "You are loved, Aje. By me, by your family, and by your friends. Never forget that."

Aj looks up at Niko, his eyes shining with unshed tears. He nods slowly, struggling to speak past the lump in his throat. "Goodnight Nik." He says softly, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to Niko's lips before rolling back over onto his side, facing away from Niko. Niko watches him for a moment, wishing there was more he could do to make Aj feel better. But for now, he knows that just being there for the boy is the most important thing.

He reaches out, gently running his hand down Aj's spine before drawing the blankets up over them both. The air in the room feels heavy with the weight of their shared emotions, and Niko can't help but wonder how much longer they can all go on like this.

Aj closes his eyes, trying to force himself to sleep, but exhaustion seems to be the furthest thing from his mind tonight. He lies there, feeling the rise and fall of Niko's chest against his back, and listens to the soft sound of his breathing whilst sleeping.

Later in the night, Niko wakes up to an empty bed; the sheets are still fairly warm from where Aj's body was. As he tries to regain his senses and wait for Aj to return from where he assumed was the bathroom, he picks up his phone that was on charge on the nightstand.

His lock screen was full of unread messages from Brooke. Niko sighs as the guilt builds inside of him. He knew he should message the girl and set things straight with her, but he had been so occupied with the man he was falling in love with and the all-consuming fear of letting go of a girl for a boy. Now, he was in a mess, that her and Aj had to suffer through.

He scrolls through her messages, some cute, some angry, and some heartbreaking. He wonders if he should read them all before replying, but decides that it's probably best to reply first and then read the messages. He types out an apology, explaining how they had an unplanned visitor show up and how he would like to speak to her sometime soon about something important.

Niko sends the message, not expecting a reply due to the time being two in the morning. He sighs, laying his head back against the pillow, and closes his eyes. He lays there, awaiting the return of Aj. Niko isn't sure how long he lies there until he realises maybe Aj isn't coming back. He sits up in his bed to see the sliver of light beneath the bathroom door. He sighs, throws the covers aside, and gets out of bed.