Total Drama Oneshots!! 💚

Noco - "Please Let Me Go" - Angst

Noco - angst
TWS: Mentions of suicide, mental hospitals, SH, eating disorders, grief, loss of a loved one, cursing

I READ OVER THE TRIGGER WARNINGS AND REALIZED HOW INSANE THIS CHAPTER SOUNDS (it's not supperrr bad 😋‼️) 💀💀 TRUST ME ITS JUST ANGSTY 😇

(In this one shot Cody and Gwen are childhood friends 😋)
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Third Person POV:

"I wish he would've just told me." Cody said. "I wish he would've told me every tiny little thing wrong in his life. So just maybe, I could've helped him. Or saved him."

"Well sweetie, it's not your fault. A lot of people who have lost a loved one feel a lot of guilt, feeling as if they could've save them. But that is just one of the stages of grief, on your pathway to help overcome the pain." Mrs. Parks, Cody's therapist, said.

Cody hadn't responded to what she said. Not because he was mad or having any intention of being rude. He was just thinking.

"The pain will never go away. It's going to be with you forever knowing how much you loved him, Cody. There are only ways to suppress it, make it feel as if it's gone for a bit." Mrs. Parks explained.

"I just, really loved him. More than anything." Cody said.

"Oh dear, I know." Mrs. Parks responded. "How about this, to wrap up this meeting. I'll try to get you set up with medications for your depression. I know you stopped taking them over a year ago, but I think it's going to help you even more now."

"Alright." Cody responded. He hasn't been wanting to give long responses anymore, nor did he even want to talk to anyone.

—-

Third Person POV:

"Hey." Gwen said.

"Hi." Cody responded. Cody and Gwen are on a phone call. It's been over a week since Noah's suicide, Gwen knew to give him some time to himself.

"Have you been getting better? I know how terrible this is for you." Gwen asked. She wasn't going to ask how he was doing, she already knew the answer.

"I can't even tell honestly. Mrs. Parks made me start back up on my medications, they just make me feel like nothing." Cody responded. He never stopped thinking about Noah, and why he did it. Did he really want to die? Was it an impulsive decision? Did Cody do something wrong? Did Noah not know he was loved? Everyday, so many thoughts ran through his head as to what could've been the reason, or how he could've saved him.

"I think that's a good start to recovery. But hey, many kids have been asking about you. They all usually assume you're not doing okay because of, you know, but they just want to make sure you're even still alive." Gwen said. "Do you know when you're coming back to school?" She asked.

"I don't know. Maybe I never will, I have been debating just going online. I'd already know how to do all my work because I was online all COVID." Cody responded.

"I think that'd be a good decision." Gwen said, with a sigh like sound at the end. "But Cody, I have a question."

"Hm?" Cody questioned.

"I don't really want to sugarcoat this, but are you going to try to kill yourself? I know that's insanely straight forward, but I remember how you used to be when your depression was really bad, before Noah." Gwen said. Her and Cody are childhood friends so they've been through each other's ups and downs, and their weird-corny phases.

"I-" Cody said before cutting himself off and taking a pause. "I can't promise anything. I want to be honest with you, Gwen. I haven't been eating, nor leaving my room at all. I've just been sitting around in my room rotting away, like it's going to somehow bring Noah back. Like one day he's just going to walk through my bedroom door magically okay. But he's not." Cody said, before stopping himself from going on a full on tangent.