The infirmy (Solangelo)

Chapter 8

A/N in this chapter the is lots of mentions of self harm 

Will pov

I woke in the early hours of the morning, with my little angel raped in my arms. He was completely peaceful, like my presence calmed him. 

I lay there thinking, which for me at least it quite dangerous, I tried to remember the last time I've seen someone other than him this peaceful. The closest I could think of where pacents, the ones that had just died, the ones I failed to save . Whilst thinking my eyes drifted form the perfect face of my angel to my wrists the ones that always had bracelets on them, to distract from the horrible scars under neath . I pulled away the bracelets on my left wrist. 

Hundreds of small scars littered my wrists. One for every patient I failed to save. One for every sole lost. Two for Michael and Lee. 

Without realising it I had started to cry hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I lay there.

Nico pov 

I woke to the sound of crying the feeling of hot tears on my cheeks but they weren't my own , if I thought about it i'd had a nightmare free sleep. I snapped back to reality, who was crying? It was Will  my sunshine, why was he crying I opened my eyes to see his blue ones but they were puffy, " Will, are you ok." 

He looked at me and mustered a fake smile," yeah I'm fine." 

He was a pitiful lier, " you oveusly aren't." 

" Nico I'm fine go back to sleep 

" No." 

"Yes."

"Yes if you tell me why your upset."

" Nico I'm fine, really I am."  

" NO your not." I hadn't ment to shout but I wanted to destroy whatever or whoever made my sunshine feel like this," Will your a poor liar, so please  tell me whats going on?"

" It's nothing." 

" It's not nothing if it makes you cry." 

Then I felt him moving his hands behind me , I turned over just in time to see him pull on the bandage like braclet on his left wrist. It then dawned on my what was under there . I turned to face him then pulled him into the strongest hug I could muster, what made my sunshine feel like he needed to do that? Who cause him so much pain? And most importantly what could I do to help? 

" Why?" 

" Their deaths, I  couldn't save them, I failed." 

Him saying this made me want to cry," it wasn't your fault." 

He cared on cry his head nestled into my shoulder.

" Can I see them?" 

He nodded in reply and pushed himself up in to a sitting position. I sat and picked up his wrist scared of what I would find underneath. I slowly pulled of the bandage on his left wrist, it was littered in tiny scar's. I choked back a sob and pulled him into another hug then asked , " Are there more?" 

" Yes," was his simple reply. 

I pulled him as close to me as possible, sitting in this lap I kissed him ," you aren't a  failure."